UGH

Yeah, so this week just sucked. As you can probably tell from the last post. You know, I realized when I was at camp, that I was truly happy, for the entire 2 months I was at camp, it was the first time in like...2 or 3 years that I was truly happy for a long period of time. And its not because nothing went wrong at camp, a lot of things did, camp things and home things, but they still didnt stop me from being happy. Now that Im home, Yeah I smile, I laugh, but Im not 100% happy. I hate it. I've found at school, almost I ever do is Complain, talk about camp, or just not talk at all. And at home, I watch TV, I drive, I lock myself in the office and listen to my music on the comp and at like...9:30 I go into my room, Im pretty much always by myself. And I always find myself thinking about if this week would have gone any better if I was with Rae, Marty and Xavier. And I feel bad, because I love my family, I really do...but we all have weird relationships with each other, and I miss the relationship I had with Rae, and yeah, as much as we still have that relationship, and we will for a very long time, she's pretty busy, running the camp and all, and I have school and homework, and pretty soon church stuff. I want to make sure I dont lose the relationship I have with her, when I start getting bussier (sp?). Sorry, I think all my posts have been complaints, about missing camp. Im really sorry.