Heres something to think about...

So...some of you know (I think) that I've been struggling to find something lately that will fill my spiritual life. I've felt a little empty for a few months, and I've always had a relationship with God, but it felt like something was missing. I realized that I havent been doing devotions that have been filling me. I've been doing fast devotions to "get it over with" and watch TV. And so a couple days ago I picked up this devotional "the purple book" written by the newsboys, and I've been working through it. And it's really been helping. I came across a question in it today that I'll probably ponder on for a while. Here it is "suppose you died, and God asked "why should I let you into heaven?" what would you say? I wasnt sure how to answer it. And I thought, and I kind of figured that I'd probably say something along the lines of "because I worked my hardest to live my life for you, and yeah, I screwed up countless times, but I never let that get in my way of you" I'm interested in what you have to say. If you dont want to comment, its all good, but I encourage you all to stop and think about what you'd say, maybe sit and turn on a CD and think about it. Thats my challenge to you.

love ya,
Court

Where do we go from here?
This isnt where we inteded to be
we had it all
you believed in me
I believed in you

Certanties disapear
what do we do for a dream to survive
How do we keep all our passions alive
as we used to do?

deep in my heart Im concealing
things that Im longing to say
scared to confess what Im feeling
frightened you'll slip away

you must love me
you must love me

Why are you at my side
how can i be any use to you now
give me a chance
and I'll let you see how
nothing has changed

deep in my heart Im concealing
things that Im longing to say
scared to confess what Im feeling
frightened you'll slip away

you must love me
you must love me


this is a song from the Musical Evita. And I've really been thinking about it lately? It's almost like it could be a conversation between us and God. It's hard to explain. When I listened to it a couple days ago....tears started literally streaming from my eyes. I dont know if it makes sense to anyone else but me, if it doesnt, sorry! Anyways...I'll go.

ttyl

The last few days

So....Saturday was a pretty good day. We went shopping. Then we had a meeting at church talking about the "future of Glenmore Temple" then right after that was quench. Quench was fun, there wasnt many people there, but it was good. We just finished a really slow and reflective song, I think it was like...here I am to worship or something...and my cell phone rang, and it sucked, haha. Oh well! Then Brianna, this 11 year old from my church, spent the night at my house. I felt kind of bad, cause I wasnt feeling great, I was tired, and I was having....Umm...Women..ly problems, haha, so i was pretty grumpy with her. The sunday was fun. I teach the youngest sunday school class, so we were going around and asking what their mommy's did for them. And this one kid, Eli, his answer was one that I'll always remember. He was like "she makes us, you know, in her tummy" we were like....well...yeah, thats right. We didnt really know what to say, haha. The we went up and handed out the plants to mothers and stuff as always. haha...anyways...I better go lay down.

ttyl

I guess you learn more everyday

I ended up finding an article on the Internet on Kelly Ann Quinns Murder (for those who dont know, Kelly was our really good family friend)..I thought I'd share it with you.


"Murder suspect Arden Diebel repeatedly clubbed his estranged girlfriend with a hammer before dumping her body in the back of his pickup and going for coffee, the Crown said yesterday.
And when Diebel heard moans from a dying Kelly Anne Quinn after he raced out of town, he bludgeoned her some more, said prosecutor Harold Hagglund.
Hagglund, in his opening statement, told Justice Peter Clark the accused arranged to meet the victim in a school yard behind her Southwood area home the night of her killing.
Diebel, who faces a charge of first-degree murder in the Sept. 14, 2004, slaying, had come to Calgary from his home in Cereal, near Hanna, 160 km northeast of the city.
Along the way Diebel stopped at a shop where he used to work, 20 km outside Calgary, to pick up the murder weapon, Hagglund said.
"The accused, in the school yard, hit Ms. Quinn numerous times on her head with the hammer," Hagglund said.
"He picked Ms. Quinn up by her belt and put her in the back of his pickup truck," the prosecutor said.
"Once she was placed in the rear of this pickup truck, he then hit her again with the hammer."
Diebel then went to Tim Hortons for a coffee before gassing up and heading out of the city.
"Just outside of Calgary, at the village of Langdon, he stopped the truck," Hagglund said.
"He went to the back of the truck (and) heard noises coming from Ms. Quinn.
"He again hit her numerous times about the head with the hammer," said Hagglund.
Diebel continued on to Hanna, dumping the hammer along the way before disposing of her corpse, the prosecutor said.
Meanwhile, in evidence, the victim's father testified he became suspicious something was wrong when his daughter's three prized dachshunds arrived home without her.
John Quinn testified he last spoke to the 25-year-old victim by telephone the night she disappeared.
"The dogs showed up at 3:30 a.m. without Kelly," he said.
"I thought something was bad."
The elder Quinn said he contacted Diebel, who had stayed at their home just days earlier, but the accused said he and Kelly had split up. He said Diebel replied it was bizarre when the father said his daughter was missing.
The trial, scheduled for two weeks, continues this morning. "

UUU

Hey,

I dont have that much to say...I just wanted to tell you all who know my mother that she has a blog....http://www.charmcleod.blogspot.com/ . Enjoy!

I've been listening to little shop of horrors songs, if you get a chance to listen to a couple, they're sooo good...I love them. I'm kinda regreting not going into the play at school, Oh well!

ttyl!!!

Felt like old times

My Brother, Chad (the oldest), came over today....and him and my dad got into an argument about Drugs. Of course...Chad decides he's gonna bring out his stubborn side...and wouldnt take anything anyone had to say into consideration. So...My dad and brother stood in the kitchen arguing about their different sides. Chads side being "If Mexico makes smoking Marujana Legal, he'd be there in a second, and blah blah blah. And my dad was trying to tell him that even if it was made Legal, the police are unfair, and would throw you in Jail anyways. And then they started going on and on. Chad saying that every city should have an area just for drugs, and drug deals and stuff. Basically like Main and hastings, in Vancouver. It's funny to watch them...but really...would we really want to have a part of town that absolutely no one wants to go? That everyone is scared of? Oh well...Chad has his oppinions.

I've been listening to a few of the little shop of horrors songs. They're soo good. I'm regreting not auditioning for it at school. Oh well.

Anyways...I'm going to go watch some Television. And set my Alarm on my Cellular Telephone...haha. So yeah...ttyl!

Pop goes the weasle

My social teacher makes me laugh. He has such a lack of confidence...and its sooo funny. He barely looks at us, he's always looking down and stuff. My dad calls him the weasle. I missed social to see my cousin at the mall...cause I hadnt seen her in forever, and I asked my dad if it would be ok....and told him we never really do that much in social anyways...so his response..."But you'll have to miss the little weasle run aorund"..hence the title of the post! But yeah....for those of you who know my dad...I think you could probably see him saying that.

OO...HAPPY 1 WEEK BIRTHDAY GRAYSON!!!!!!

And on that note...I'm gonna leave you with a verse from a song...and be on my way.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is,
there is freedom

Where the spirit of the lord is
there is freedom

Lift your eyes to heaven
there is freedom

lift your eyes to heaven
there is freedom

Because my day wasnt good enough..

I got a bunch of pictures of Grayson James today! I was sooo excited. He's sooo cute! I cant wait to actually get to meet him!

AWW

I talked To Jenn Landon last night! It was awesome! (If you read this...I miss you sooo much!!!) Her and my mom were talking about a story about me, that I hear almost everytime I talk to Jenn...about how I lifted my dress up when everyone was taking pictures of me when I was little. So I told her I'd find embarrassing stories about Grayson...haha. So I thought I fixed my msn this morning, but it wont let me on again. So I have to either use the laptop or e-messenger, which sucks! All my favorite music is on the real computer (which I'm on right now). Except Radio, by Alkaline Trio (kind of emo band), thats on the other computer, but most of my worship songs and stuff are on the real computer, and my oldies! I'm listening to Mustang Sally right now, best song ever! OO...and Build me up buttercup! Oh wow...You know you're a loser when you like those kinds of songs! Oh well...no offence to anyone who likes them...not many of my friends do know the songs. anyways...Im gonna go. I know this post was pretty pointless, but I wanted to post.

What to do?

When you're so happy
When you're so unsettled
When you're so confused
When you're so excited

what do you do with all these emotions?
What do you do when in an instant you can go from happy, to sad?
What do you do, when theres one person making you sad?
Do you stop thinking about them?

Do you tell them how you feel?
SO CONFUSING!

Teenage life is great. Dont you agree?


Ok, so weird poem, I know....but its the closest I can get. And BTW....Im actually happy more than sad. I only get sad around this person at school....sometimes.

HMMM

Yes...so sorry about the last post, I was quite excited about the baby being born. I honestly cried when I saw the pictures, and if you know me at all...it isnt like me to cry if Im not hurt or upset.

My mom got some tests today, and it turns out she has Crohms disease. No biggie, but prayers...please!

Im not to sure whats going on with this boy at school. He thought I asked him out, and I thought he asked me out, but nobody asked anyone out...so its pretty confusing. It gets a little ackward (sp?)

Im quite excited for Bible study tonight!

I better go.

Love ya,
Court

OMG OMG OMG OMG

THE TIME IS FINALLY HERE!!

GRAYSON JAMES LANDON!!!
I've been waiting for this moment for soooo long. Jenn and Jeremy finally had there baby. I'm so fricking excited. I want to jump up and down!!!! AHHHHHHH

UGH

Today...SUCKED! I get to see Stan and Tsi-Tsi tonight with baby James, so that should be good. But yeah...I wake up....early, so I could study for my test which barely happened...and I was so out of it, and dead tired. Then I get to school only to find out 2 of my friends are in a fight, and you could feel the tension...I totally didnt wanna be in the same room with both of them. Then I took my science test, which I think I may have passed (I hope)...Science isnt my strong subject....to say the least. THEN...I had to go to art...and finish a project that I technically finished on friday, so I really did nothing. Then Social...none of my friends were there and we went to the library...so it sucked not being there with any friends. Oh yeah....And to top it all off...My science teacher wore an OILERS Jersey!! We asked why and shes like "Why do you think? Oilers Kick ass" I was like...PSH..yeah right. But whatever....everyones entitled to their own oppinion...as long as they know deep down that....the flames are soooo much better. K...so I guess today wasnt HORRIBLE...but yeah...just long and boring. But I drove...and I drove to where my test was...to practise parking and stuff....and my dad and I figured everything out, which is good. All the Vehicles we used on the test were there as well..which helped. Anyways...I have to go get ready for dinner.

ttyl,
Court

GO FLAMES GO!

Amazing...

I never thought I'd ever think the words "I miss Drumheller" would ever come out of my mouth. But they have. The Jr. Band at Glenmore went up this weekend...mostly to hang out. We did the service today and did like...an hour at the nursing home yesterday. It was amazing. I think what I liked most about it was...being free...from everything. Stress and everything. Being able to have real fun...and not worry about it. Be able to smile and not worry if I should or shouldnt be smiling because this persons going through this, and that persons going through that. I was finally able to be happy for...and day and a half. Dont get me wrong...I have an amazing life, and family and everything...and I wouldnt trade what I have...but lately I've been having trouble being truly happy...and I dont know why. I even forgot about failing my license...till I was almost home. But gosh...it was amazing. We stayed in the Ramada in which is actually set up like a house...kind of. It looks like a hotel...but you walk in...and theres a room thats kinda like a coffee shop..and everythings free and you can just go sit on the couches with your friends like you would at home and turn on the TV. We watched the Flames game down there last night...it was awesome. And we went swimming...and It was soooo fun. We laughed so much, it was great. I dont think I've had that much fun straigh in that "long" period of time since youth councels.

Court

second post of today!

Jeeze...I think I really am a blog-atic (if that makes sense) haha...I was at Amandas birthday and there was a balloon guy there and we were trying to figure out how to say his name when he told us it was Balloonatic...like Lunatic but...balloon...k so maybe not so funny....same with the blog-atic...maybe just funnier in my head. Gosh...sorry this is really weird. Never post when your really tired. K...there actually is a point to this post. I took my drivers test today....and I totally FAILED! Thats right...I fail at life, lol. KIDDING! But I was soooo upset....I had to go right to church to do childcare and I cried like...all the way to church and then I got to church and couldnt go downstairs for a while till I stopped crying. It sucked. Then I started hanging out with the kids and it was amazing. I nearly forgot about the drivers test. Its funny how Kids, in there innocents, can make you forget about everything thats happened...even for a second. That split second when they run up to you and give you a hug...or the look at you and laugh and run away waiting for you to chase them. There were like...7 kids there....it was a fairly small group. We got a new TV donated and its really nice. But its really loud...even when the Volumes turned down quite a bit...so it was hard to deal with 7 kids and a TV haha...it kinda got annoying, but the youth pastor was really into Veggietales, God rocks, and The Doughnut man...so we couldnt turn the TV off, haha. Well....that was my day. I got pictures from my phone FINALLY on my computer today. They wouldnt send for like..a month. So here are some of the pics. OOO...
this out!!!http://mypictures.bell.ca/guest/view/message.do?lsdb=7&invite=nE8r4XJ32YzMTaya77dU&subretailerid=BELLM&shareName=MMS&retailerid=BELLM

Its me playing the drums horribly. Sorry about the weird sound...it was from my cell phone...so the sound isnt great.

PIC order

-me playing the drums, or attempting.
-Shane D
-Mom and Sam
-the most amazing book title ever! I saw the book in indigo and took a picture of it. Maybe not the best Christian representation, but funny nonetheless.

Am I still Mad??

The radio station I listen to always talks about the walk for the kids help phone or whatever it is. Everytime I hear the advertisment...I get sooo mad. I do know some people dont know the background to this post....I'll explain better later but right now Im kind of on the way out the door to school. But yeah...I get really mad and everytime it comes on I get the urge to scream...or just go up to someone (someone I know) and tell them I can NEVER support the help phone. Maybe last year I could have, but not anymore.

Court

Dear me

haha...kids are funny. I know I've posted about kids quite a bit...but oh my gosh...I have a couple really good stories.

first story - Micheal (the youth pastor) was up in the nursery with Jackie and I while we were baby-sitting 3 kids. One was about 5 months, 2 were 4...ish. And Jackie said 2 the boys (the oldests)..."Guys guess whos coming" and micheal yells JESUS!!! Really loud...the baby was all happy and stuff then he yelled and her face changed so fast there was barely time to react...and she burst out into tears. So now...David...her older brother....when ever you say "david, guess whos coming?" Or just plain "whos coming?" he'll be like..."UGGGGHHHH Jesus" its really funny because he seems so unenthusiastic.

Second story - I help out with this Jr. Youth group at my church...and its mostly Asian kids, they're the best kids ever. Anyways...last night I told this kid, Frank, that if he ate a Jelly Belly he'd fly...so he took one and I picked him up and ran him around the kitchen....and he laughed so hard....then told me that he wasnt actually flying, but it was fun anyways...I love him, he's the best kid ever. Anyways...I better go.

Court

AGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

1 Timothy 4:12 says "Let no one dispise you for your youth, but set an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in Purity" - English Standard Version


If Its said in the bible that youth aren't supposed to be looked down upon, why are we? And how do we stop it? See...It may be stupid, but its something thats been bothering me all year....

1. They take Winter Weekend away from us...and are replacing it with "a weekend in prayer" at Forward...now tell me....(I know most people are older than I am...but try and look back to when you were young and going to camp...and if you never went to camp...well...try and imagine.) For you....was Camp 100% to spend a week or weekend with God? Or was it more to see your friends, and as much as God helped with everything (or didnt in some situations)...Camp makes everything easier. I know that when Im having a hard time...I have trouble finding time to ask God for help when Im in Calgary, but when Im at camp...theres nothing distracting me...theres all Gods creations and everything, but theres also my friends.

2. They get all our hopes up telling us that we're having DYB at camp...but ever since they've told us that...they've cancelled it...every time!! Its not fair!!

3. They're now talking about maybe cancelling Music camp because there isnt enough accomodation, and as much as I may not be a camper at music camp....I still would hate to see music camp cancelled....because....everyone looks forward to Music camp. And Im sure that if they had the option to sleep in a tent...or to have music camp cancelled...they'd sleep in a tent.

I just wish they'd stop making us feel worthless. Stop making youth feel like we're unimportant. Or at least not as important as 95% of the worlds population.

Im really sorry if this post seems weird or anything....I've been in tears for the last half hour...and my brain isnt working properly. Just...can someone tell me if we're out of line in thinking that we have no worth, because no one is showing us any kind of care or anything. Because no one ever consults about the decisions for us? I personally dont think its right...but maybe Im wrong...maybe when people make decisions for me...I should be happy to go along with it....no matter what it is.

Boys Boys everywhere you go!!

So....my sister asked a really hot guy out the other day....she didnt even know his name when she did, BUT...they did talk a bit and he knew her name. And today....I may or may not be going to see a boy at sobeys (where he works) cause he said it gets really lonely...so I told him I'd go see him.

So this post is mainly because...Im bored...and I wanted to post.

My hands hurt...we're doing wire sculptures in art and I keep accidentally stabbing my hands, but by the time I realize it...the bloods all dry.

My whole computer got wiped, so I lost like....100 pictures and 18 hours worth of music.

JENN! Im still waiting to hear about a baby! I hope it comes soon!!!!

4 20 was good...I guess...I sure didnt do anything about it (meaning I didnt smoke Pot, because...well...I dont wanna die a slow death)

Its snowing, and I hate it! I wish I was at camp! Any weathers good at camp.

I've gained back 2 hours of music back. YAY

Im gonna go...because this post is really boring, sorry!

ttyl

why do they always do this to us......GOSH

yeah....so Im pretty frustrated. I get an email like...monday...ish say..."we're really excited to see you at DYB on the weekend, please provide your own transportation" DYB is Band practise, for everyone who doesnt know...and then today...I get home from school...and got an email from a girl from my church, saying "are you going to be in my car on the way to camp" so i emailed her back...because we had already made all these arrangments to go up...my parents and sister were excited to have a hot dog roast on friday night...and blah blah blah....and then I go for a walk...I get home, check my email only to find out....."Sorry to announce, DYB is yet again cancelled" which wouldnt be that bad...if 3 out of the 4 practises this year hadn't been cancelled, but they were. DYB is more than a band to me. DYB....is a weekend away....a time to see people.

4 20

I don't mean if 4 20 means anything to anyone, it didnt mean anything to me until like...monday, when everyone was complaining that we have a test tomorrow, which is April (4) 20th (20)....and I didnt know why, this girl Christina she'd be really high that day, but not a clue why, haha. Then today I found out that its National Pot Smoking day. How sad is that, honestly. These people dont know when they can smoke pot so they have to set a date, jkjk. I find it amusing, but upseting at the same time. I cant help but think....what would God have to say about this? I dont know how to describe my exact feelings, but all I know is that...it hurts to see people doing this to themselves, and to God. Growing up with a brother that smoked a lot of pot, I've seen what it can do. I was also talking to my friend...and her sister got so into drugs that she is now 22, I think, but has the mind of a 12 year old because of all the drugs. Granted, it would have been more than Pot, but yeah. My dad and I were also talking about it, Pot kills brain cells, hence why it's so "relaxing"...you're brain isnt functioning properly.

This is something I worked on at school, not for an assignment or anything, just cause its cool. And it made me think....these are "my kids" and my friends....if churches continue to go on the path they are going, Salvation Army Churches at least....we WILL lose these kids. And who knows, maybe because of that....4 20 will be a big thing in their lives that make them mad at teachers and school because they give them tests when their gonna be super high.

Just something to think about,
Court

pretty cool

Yeah...so I was at school today, kinda having a bad day, sick, tired etc. BUT...I enter my Art Class, and I looked on the table I work at, and I look down and theres a panflit sitting there, i didnt put much though to it, until I looked a little closer and noticed it had scripture verses on it, which is pretty odd considering it's a public school where God isnt even allowed to be mentioned. So I thought it was pretty cool to see that God can show up and so many places, unexpected places. These are the verses on it.

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? 2 He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart 3 and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman, 4 who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the LORD, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, 5 who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken. ~Psalm 15:1-5

9 The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.

~Proverbs 10:9

12Above all, my brothers, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned.

~James 5:12

Ummm....

Whats today actually called? Easter Saturday? I dont know, haha. I asked my Cousin and she told me "the day in between" so I figure I'll go with that, haha. Anyways...I know this is a little....delayed, but if you can...you should watch this video clip...its amazing, it makes me cry.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6159683545826314430&q=Crucifixion&pl=true

Courtney

Well, it's good friday

"For God SO loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life" - John 3:16

When you go about your day today, don't think of it as "GOSH another day I have to go to church" but rather think of it as a day of reflection, reflection on Jesus Christ, his love that is so deep that he would die for us. A love that is so great that he would go to hell for us, even if it wasn't a lifetime in hell, it was only 3 days, he still went. A love that is unfailing, that makes you feel all 'warm and fuzzy' inside. A love that is Jesus, that CREATES Jesus.

"may I never boast, but of the cross" - Unknown

Courtney

I must be doing something right!

Alirght, so I dont mean to sound like Im perfect or anything, BUT...you see, Im at church about 6 out of 7 nights a week...and about 4 of those (including Jr. Band) Im involved with kids. And growing up with all these role models come in and out of my life, all from church...I decided that I want to be a role model (thats so not the right word!) for the kids in my life. Umm...one kid, everytime he sees me, it's "COURTNEY!!!!" and he boots it across the room to give me a hug...haha...actually, I got up to pray a couple weeks ago...and Im in the middle of my prayer, and all of the sudden I hear this really loud "I JUST WANT TO GIVE COURTNEY A HUG!" Sure enough, I glance down off the platform, and there Geoffrey trying to squirm away from his mom trying to run up and give me a hug. And then like....when I teach sunday school all these kids come up and tell me about there week and stuff, and their families etc. And this one young lady (I cant call her a kid anymore, she's 13, I think *tear*) sits with me all the time at church, and along with her friend May. Last but not least, these 2 kids in Jr band started fighting over which of them was gonna billet with me when we go to Drumheller. I don't know, but I must be influencing these kids in some way if all this is going on. But I have to say, I wont ever let anyone take my kids away from me!!

~Court~

Mosh for Jesus!

<-------- So I found this picture on the internet last night, and fell in love with
<-------- it. It's amazing! Mainly because....it's like...my saying! Well, kind of
<-------- I've never actually said it, but I when I mosh....I always mosh for Jesus, and it's amazing. It's the most amazing form of worhsip you'll ever know!

I'm sorry

I'm sorry you just up and left
without any notice at all

I'm sorry you kept saying you care
then never do anything about it

I'm sory you hurt me,
as bad as you did

But most of all, I'm sorry I tried defending you
I'm sorry I ever trusted you

I'm sorry I believed you when you told me
you care about me

I'm sorry I believed you
everytime you said you wanted to be a better friend

But really, I'm sorry if you want to come back
and want to be friends again

I'm sorry I'll accept you
and set myself up for all this pain again


This post is dedicated to someone that I care about, and that I think about often, but I never get the courage to tell her how I feel because I dont want to hurt her, Someone who I considered a sister at one point in time.

Pictures and post

Alright, so I must say, my hands are killing me. We're doing wire sculptures in art, and I keep poking myself, haha. But I have to say, Im quite proud, I havent started bleeding, yet! Umm...this pic is Simone and I in banff. I think its pretty cool. Simone is my bestest friend ever. She's pretty cool, she's got some skills. One memory I have, when we were in banff, something happened, I dont really wanna go into it, but she could tell I was upset, so she turned on the song "lonely" by Akon, and thats our song, we sang it so much in California, and we got about 4 lines in and I broke down crying, and she grabbed me and held me for it felt like forever, but it was the most amazing thing ever, because we are usually the kind of friends that dont get too sad around each other, and we're always really stupid and making fools of ourselves, but theres the odd time that we try to support each other. Thanks Simone!

So this is yet another dedication

This one is dedicated to Kimberly Erin Burgess.


I don’t know what you’re going through
I don’t even know what to say
Except, I’m here for you
I love you

I wish I could protect you from the pain
I wish I could make it better
But God has a Plan
He loves you

God has a plan, and this is part of it
God has a reason for doing this to you
I know it’s hard to understand
He loves you

There one thing left to say
There one thing left, and only you can do it
It’s not as easy as it sounds
Love yourself

Alright, so I havent posted in a few days, but I've been really run-down and stressed out with friends and school and such. But heres a post!! YAY. I've had a total lack of sleep! I hate when you're really tired, so you try to go to bed earlier than normal, and you don't fall asleep until like...an hour after you usually do. Oh well. I went to Peters 26th birthday party last night, it was awesome...good Job on the planning Amanda! Haha...Allison and I hung the streamers, but we did them a little low, we were worried peter would hang himself, but he didn't, thank goodness, lol. So Im really starting to get excited about camp, I over heard a girl saying that schools out in like....83 days or something, but that was yesterday, so now its 82! YAY. Wow, Im very tired, so Im sorry this is so Random. I have barely seen my family at all in the last week, aside from getting rides from my dad etc. Pretty craaaaaaazy. OO...I saw Angie on Sunday, it was pretty cool, if you read this Angie, I want you to know I love you, and Im always here for you. And I've been talking a little to my friend, whos dad died, and she says she doing pretty good, but Im not too convinced. She's the kind of person that would be there for her family, and be strong, and act like it doesnt bother her for the sake of her family, and we all know that isnt good. So yeah, if you could, could you say a little prayer for her and her brother and mom? Thanks!

Court

Heres to him

So....he doesnt know, but I like him desperatley, hehe. He's cool...Im not gonna say his name, but he's awesome! This is for him...

Forgive me if I st-stutter From all of the clutter in my head Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes Like a water bed Do I seem familiar, I've crossed you in hallways a thousand times, no more camouflage I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall. Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have And cannon ball into the water I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have For you I will You always want what you can't have But I've got to try I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have For you I will For you I will For you I will For you If I could dim the lights in the mall And create a mood I would Shout out your name so it echos in every room I would That's what I'd do, That's what I'd do to get through to you, yeah Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have And cannon ball into the water I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have For you I will You always want what you can't have But I've got to try I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have For you I will For you I will For you I will For you I will.



Courtney

everyone!! Keep August 29th 2012 free!!!!

Seeing as, Im getting Married that day, I thought I'd share some of my wedding plans with ya'll. In case you're wondering about a guy, there is none, yet, it'll come! Thats just a last minute detail that doesnt really need to be added until about a year before the wedding, lol.

K, so here it goes!

Im going to walk down the Isle to Canon in D by Pachaelbel.
The ceremony will be in the pines at camp.
The reception will be outdoor probably behind the pines
My side of the wedding party will Be Alicia (being my sister, she has to be the Maid of Honor), Simone, Kristyn, My sister daughter (if she has one by then), and one more person, yet to be added. I figure I'll let my husband chose his groomsmen.
When we leave down the dirt road, my wedding cast (if thats what its called, haha) is gonna sing "we go together" from Grease, and then in the last few bars, a horse-drawn Carrige, with a white horse will ride up the road, pick us up, and we'll ride down the road out of camp.

I have my dress picked out and everything! It's going to be Simple, yet...elegant, and my bridesmaids dresses are going to be a silky satin, if that makes sense, and it's going to be like....easter purple kind of. Heres a pic of my dress.
~Court~

Prayer please!

Hey guys,

Umm...Im really sorry to do this, I know I do it a lot...but umm...one of my really good friends Dad just died this morning, he had a heart attack, I just wondered if you could pray for her and her family? That would be amazing.

SAMMIE

This post is dedicated to my sister, Samantha Ashlee Amy Castor, she is amazing. She's been here for a week now, good times. She goes home tomorrow and Im gonna miss her soooo much. She's amazing, and beautiful, no matter what she tells you! I love her to death. Thanks for being my sister Sammie!

OH MY!!!

K..so the funniest thing EVER! We were at Chinook centre yesterday...and we went to play Dance Dance Revolution....and Simone and I played together...and there was this guy who was wearing a shirt that had holes in it and stuff...but yeah....we were like...UHH...cause it looked weird...but anyways....Sammie just found his Nex, and it turns out....he thought we were high...cause we sucked so much...yeah....good times. We should have told him we were high off the Holy spirit, lol. We did that once, at 7-11 on new years. It was quite fun. Anyways...I better go.

ttyl,
~Court~

When you grow up do you want to be obese??

Lol...Sam and I went to lloyds today (rollerskating) and if you've ever seen me skate, or rollerskate, you'd know I was the worst skater EVER, and all the little like....10 year old kids were laughing at me. and I have the biggest skid mark on my knee because I fell so much, but at any rate, it was fun. There was the cutest little kid running around, and he had the biggest head, very cute. And when we were leaving these 2 little girls were talking...and one was like "when you grow up,,,do you wanna be obese" and yeah, it was adorable. Anyways...I better go...ttyl

These are a few of my favorite movie quotes!

Mama always said life was like a box a chocolates, never know what you're gonna get. - Forst gump

Stupid is as stupid does - Forest gump

E.T. phone home. - ET (obviously)

"If you're a bird, I'm a bird." - The notebook

I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day." - The notebook

Every man dies. Not every man really lives - Braveheart

Life is pain, princess, anyone who says differently is selling something - The princess bride

never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game - A cinderella story

Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. - The wizard of Oz

In Banff

Hey guys

Simone, Sam (Ashlee), and I are in banff, on a family trip. It's fun, for the most part. And my parents and sister are here as well. We got a duck that walks when you push it on a stick. Its amazing. We were thinking about my wedding, cause I was listening to "we go together" from the grease soundtrack....and my whole wedding party is gonna sing that at my wedding at the end of the reception, and then at the end of the song my husband and are I gonna run out. Anyways...I better go, hang out with my friends. So yeah...I'll ttyl.

Dedicated to my sister...Alicia Catherine McLeod!

So...I pretty much have the best sister anyone could ask for. She's amazing! She totally helped me when I had my surgery...made me laugh, when I wanted to cry...and still does! She's totally encouraging, and I love her to peices. Sure we've had our argument, lol...fighting over weddings...ending up on the floor with the punching and the rolling, lol...good times. But yeah....she's sooo cool....Although though I dont get to see her much, I still love her!!! OH...did I mention?? SHES CRAZY!

Your cool because:

• you're always there
• you dance really crazy
• You're not afraid to be who you are
• you're constantly wanting to find out more about people
• you have such a passion for God
• you buy me ducks, haha
• You always make time

I wish I could worship like a child

No fear of rejection
No fear of persecution
No fear at all

Just you and God
Not caring about what others thing
Not caring about anything

I wish I could be free
Free of people thinking Im a loser
Free of thinking Im a loser

I wish I could be myself
Without wondering what they're thinking
Just about what me, and God think

No one else there
No one else around
Just in an empty room, containing me and Jesus

I just wish!
I just wish!
I just wish!

Please God, Help me to be like a child!!!

Then I cried.....again

OK....so, I found out that DYB is cancelled this weekend, and I was sooo upset, and mad, but I started crying (weird, I know)...I dont usually cry over stuff like that, but it was at camp, which, lets be honest, I feel like camp, is more my home, then my actual home is, it means the world to me, and I havent been there since october, and then they cancelled winter weekend on us, so this was supposed to somewhat replace winter weekend (although it wouldnt come close), and I found out yesterday it was cancelled. I wasnt happy, THEN, I went to a play at my school, my Drama teacher from last semester, who everyone has the highest respect for...he was the main character...It was the play Teusdays with Morrie, I dont know if anyones heard of it. But its about this guy who has ALS, and one of his students from like....16 year before found out that he had ALS, and went and visited him...on a teusdays, and then the next teusday, and so on and so forth. But, I almost cried, because....My drama Teacher is in a wheel chair himself...but he doesnt have ALS...but we could all tell that he was in pain, a lot more than just the pain he was acting. There was some obvious pain there....and he got out of his chair and danced, I was shocked. He can walk a little....for about 10 minutes at a time...the disks in his back are Deteriorating, and its so sad. But anyways, I was proud, I didnt cry all through the play, and not a lot of other people can say that...and then he did his thank-you's at the end, and said his friend, Vic Peters (who had ALS) died last night, and I lost it. See....I'd never met Vic Peters, but Mr. P (my teacher) talked so highly of him, and we were supposed to meet him at the play, I never realized I held him so close to my heart, I cant believe he's gone. If you could, could you please take a minute to pray for his family, and my teacher, Mr P. If not, its all good, but yeah.

Thanks,
Court

So typical of a Dad

So....you know, the past year or so has been really hard, emotionally and Spiritually...and I've been going on this rocky road that has kinda led me up, and then back down again, Some weeks Im happy all week and really excited, for no reason, and other weeks, I'd constantly feel like crying, mostly the latter. Well....In the past month and a half, a lot of cool things have happened, and I've been a lot happier. And I didnt really realize, life kinda just passed by and I didnt really notice much of anything...and then, I was thinking about a week ago, and I realized, this is all God, it's all part of his wonerful plan. We have emotions for a reason, and although, God doesnt like to see us in pain, physical or emotional, Pain is God-given, to a certain extent anyways. And so is Joy, and happiness. I thank God so much for all his blessings, and I never even realized that this new-found Joy is also a blessing. Its amazing. God is seriously...the best Daddy you could ever have. (yes, I did just call God daddy)...oh, and also...I got my letter today from camp...saying that I'm officially hired!!!!

Random pics

what do you think?????

Wow....lots of posts

I know I've posted a lot...but I wanted to say......

God works in the weirdest ways. Honestly...I've really been struggling over the past year or so, feeling like I've been losing really good friends, and all in the last 9 months or so, God has....sent me to high school, gave me lots of awesome friends there, Brought old friends back into my life, brought people that I was never really friends with, but have talked to a little into my life to the point where we talk about 3 times a week (**Cough** Dana **Cough**) and brought people from camp last summer, who, although we dont talk much, helps me so much (Tori)....All these people are amazing. And Here I am, sitting here, thinking about this, but also having Anger, Anger of friends who Im not even really sure if they were friends in the first place, stop talking to me, I dont think I've been too fair to God, but Im gonna work on that.

~Court~

So....

Yeah...so I went to the mall with Mara today...and we were sitting in the food court...and this family came up and they had a baby. And we were watching the baby....it was adorable! And so Mara looked at me, and she was like "k, so for Christmas, I want one of those" we then went to Orange Julius to bug Simone, lol....and this lady came up and thought we were in line, but we werent, obviously. And so we moved to the side...haha...and we started Joking around about what we should have said to the lady....and we came up with the perfect thing... "Im not actually, Im your Guardian Angel, and I came to give you a message that will Change your life, your gonna have a baby, then you're gonna give it to me" haha...alright...so maybe not so funny now, but it was very funny then. The I went to bible study, and we found out survivor is on wednessday next week...so Allison, without even realizing was like "what days is wednessdays?" Oh I lost it, I couldnt contain myself, well actually, I could, but not inside, outside I was very serious...lol jkjk. Im really tired, so sorry if this post seems very....random, and confusing. Haha. Wow....Im a huge idiot, Im gonna just go....and not talk anymore, lol.

~Court~

AWW...I {heart} you Tori!

AW..I went out with my friend Tori today...who I havent seen since like, august...and we spent like 2 and a half hours together...it was awesome! I love her....shes so cool! We talked lots about God, and church, and school and camp and...everything. Thanks sooo much Tori!!!!!!!

Court

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

K...so I came home last night...completely ignoring the answering machine, as usual...haha, then my mom checked the messages and there was a very, very important one on there for me...from Peter Van Duinen, The DYS here in Alberta. It turns out, they hand-picked me to probably be a baby-sitter for the camp-care taker during the days of the summer, then at night I just get to hang out with campers and the staff and stuff. I cant believe it. Im sooo happy!!!!!!!!!!

YAY

HAHAHA, yeah so we had youth group tonight! It was amazing!!!!! My friend Cathy came, from school, and Simone was there, and it was sooo awesome. We had a scavenger hunt at the mall and we had stuff we had to find, but we also had to see how much free stuff we could find. And my dad payed starbucks last night for like...4 frapachinos (totally spelled that wrong) and he didn't tell them, so we had to go ask if we could get a "free" frap. and the girls working made us sing and dance in order to get it...haha so we jumped up and down singing "Oh Canada" and then this random guy came over and started jumping with us, and he was like "YAY I LOVE CAFFINE, CAFFINES AMAZING!!!" and it was hilarious. And then, we had to go into La Vie en rose and see how much a certain thong was (typical Bob McLeod thing to do) and so we got just outside the store, and Simone turns around and starts yelling at Micheal (who btw, was like...100 feet away), she was like "MICHEAL, WHAT KIND OF THONG WAS IT" and it was really loud and these people on a bench were like...UMMM...yeah it was amazing. Anyways...thats my story. Ya'll (yes I said Ya'll) should come and try youth group, and for all you out-of-towners, if you come to calgary, try my youth group, screw Berkshire....south meadows is a bit better, but Glenmore all the way!! haha...jkjk.

MWAH
~Court~

Hmmm...

Yeah...so I was at bible study last night...and..well...I glanced down at my bible, and in a little blue box...it said "how is the holy spirit active in your life?" and it made me think. How is he active in my life? Am I letting him be active in my life? Then, kinda not relating to that at all...after bible study, we were just getting ready to start our prayer/reflective time (BTW, amazing idea Amanda!), and I glanced down at the bible again, after it was closed, and my bible has a little slot in it to slip little cards or whatever, and the card in it said "for nothing is impossible with God" and it really encouraged me. I've been having some problems with friends and stuff lately and it really showed me that I can work through the problem if I trust God. Anyways...yeah, I better go.

ttyl
~Court~

Problem?

I was in a career day session at school yesterday about homelessness (of course!) and a director from the mustard seed (a shelter here in Calgary) was there, he was a pastor, and he didn't really say anything that was new to me, except this..."the person isn't the problem, the problem, is the problem." It's nothing new to me, I already knew it, but it really stuck out to me for some reason. Maybe it never really clicked into me, or I dont know. But I was laying in bed last night, and it was really weird to think back on it. I dont know, I guess just one more fact to put into my binder!!!

~Court~

Pictures!! (Continued)

Pictures!!

Yeah so I just send pics from my cell to my computer....so here are some of them!! Some are sunday school kids and some are friends.

haha

Yeah....so I am definitely owned "I've never" tonight. haha....jkjk. I went to my friend Cathys birthday party...and we played this game called "I've never" and basically...someone says something they've never done...and you've done it you put one of your fingers down...and after you get all 5 fingers down your out and you have to do a dare. And well...Nicole and I ended up getting out at the same time...so we both had to do a dare. lol...we had to see how many Chocolate eggs we could fit in our mouth...she got 10, and I almost gave up...but I got 12..haha...HECK YES! It was amazing...till I almost chocked cause one of them started slipping down my throat...lol...and so I went to spit it out and about 7 or 8 came out as well...haha. I dont know I'll be eating one of those for a while. Oh but was it ever fun.

~Court~

???

What do you have to say about this?

"Homelessness is an extremely complex social problem that impacts the quality of life in our community and others across the country. There are no easy solutions, as the causes of homelessness are multi-faceted and frequently outside the control of government agencies. But the Police Department does have a role in dealing with people, including the homeless, when their activities are unlawful or otherwise impact the health and safety of the community. The following information is provided to assist business people and individual community members in properly addressing incidents and concerns regarding the homeless and related quality of life issues while ensuring that the rights of all individuals are protected, regardless of economic or social status.
Homeless people seek the same essentials as everyone else. The most important of these are water, food, shelter, clothing, and a source of income. Locations that provide easy access to these basics will attract homeless persons.

Following are suggestions for avoiding problems with the homeless:
Do use caution in dealing with any strangers regardless of their appearance.
Avoid confrontation and maintain your distance from strangers.
Do not offer food or money.
Do not permit anyone to camp or loiter on your property. If unauthorized camping or loitering is occurring on your property, contact the Police Department and ask to sign an authorization for trespassers to be arrested.
Do not allow anyone to store shopping carts, bedding, or personal belongings on your property.
Restrict access to overhangs, alcoves or other areas protected from inclement weather.
Lock or remove handles from water spigots to discourage unauthorized use.
Lock your garbage receptacles.
Lock or turn off exterior power outlets.
Lock gates after hours.
Install exterior lighting and utilize motion activated fixtures after hours.
Trim back landscaping and foliage to eliminate hiding places.
Clean up garbage and waste.
Report graffiti and other vandalism to the police, and clean up promptly after the officer has concluded their investigation.
Do not allow food and beverage deliveries to sit out unattended. "

HAHAHAHAHA

Yeah.....so I wrote a poem at school today...what else do I do at school? And so when I got home I put music to it...it kinda sucks, but whatever. Its like...a prayer...but I'll tell you I suppose. Im in a really weird mood. Anyways...here it is...

I'm crying out to you
Change me
Make me yours

Keep me in your presence lord
keep me in your sight
Keep me in your arms

Stay by my side forever lord
Stay in my life
In my heart

Make me new
Make me real
make me yours


Hope you liked it!!

Hmm

K....so I was at bible study tonight...and I started thinking, do we really need to ask God to help us, because, he knows before we do what we're about to ask. If we don't even think about asking, and we just live with what we have, will God still give us Miracles. Like the crippled Beggar, outside the temple, he never ASKED for Gods help, he never ASKED for healing, but it happened. It never really says he even thought about asking, or thought about what it was like to be "normal" but...God still granted him with strength, and healing. Maybe, just maybe if we trust enough...we don't even have to ask....maybe God will grant us with blessings. Think for a moment, think about miracles that have happened in the last year, big or little....either, you passed a grade in school and you werent sure you would, or you made it through the year alive, or anything. You know? Anything good can be a miracle. I actually consider this a miracle. Over the last year or so, I've had about 3 people come into my life whom I haven't talked to in what seems like a million years. And I've met a whole bunch of amazing people. Anyways..I have to go.

ttyl

YAY

Yeah....so I went to the Relient K Concert last night with Simone, and other people....but mainly simone...haha. It was fun, after Relient K came on. The Concert started at 8 and relient K came on at like...quarter to 10...stupid opening bands. They werent even really that good. MMM...good old Jugo juice though. Haha...there were about 4 guys in front of us in the "moshpit" that were just wasted. HILARIOUS! Yeah..it was fun. AND yesterday.....I got an email address that was very much appreciated. I can't say whos cause theres a certain person or 2 that cant know right now. So yeah....yesterday was an awesome day. AND today....I get to go to Brownies!!!! This little girl from my church (well...I guess not so much little anymore....she just turned 8 *tear*) asked me to go to brownies with her tonight cause its some "bring a friend" day or something. I'm so pumped! HAHA. Yeah...good times. Anyways....I have to go...and Navigator...call me!!! My cell number is 835-7304.

Court

Shout outs!

Well...I was sitting here...thinking....I know some pretty cool...so Im gonna name some of them...sorry if I miss anyone!!

~Samantha, AKA Ashlee...SO COOL! my sister!
~Amanda (Nav) - I love you...call me while you're here
~Alicia...yes my sister
~Tammy (Williams) SO COOL!
~Simoner
~Jackie
~Naomie
~Dana
~Arlene
~Ashley (guy)
~Micheal
~Amanda Robinson!!!!!
~and everyone else I've ever met...haha.

Do you ever?

Do you ever feel like sometimes, you don't matter as much?
Like you try your hardest, and its never good enough
Like you have to do drastic things to get noticed?

Do you ever feel like...someone else is the number one,
and you're just there when your needed?
Like, you want to break down and cry because you feel alone?

Do you ever feel like someone you love, and should love you back,
doesnt love you as much as they should?
Like, they care about someone else that your close to better?

Or is it just me?
Am I the only one,
who feels like this?

*tear*

Yeah....so, I'm sitting here, listening to "Jesus take the wheel" by Carrie Underwood. I am actually almost in tears, because, I know I really need to start letting Jesus be in Control of my life. Im not a big fan of country music, but this song really sticks out to me because it seems like it is just for me. God works in amazing ways, and he's really been working in my life, trying to show me that I need to give it up, all of it...he needs to have it. Its so much easier said than done. But Im getting there.

~Court~




Jesus take the wheel Take it from my hands Cause I can't do this all on my own I'm letting go So give me one more chance To save me from this road I'm on Jesus take the wheel

Hmm

K...I was just listening to the songs on my computer....and a song that I've never listened to came on...Its by casting crowns...its called "praise you in this storm" and I didnt really pay too much attention to the words...until the words "I will praise you in this storm" caught my attention. See...theres been a lot going on lately with different things...Church issues and stress with some friends and stuff...and I've really been struggling with keeping up with Devotions and prayer etc. And I've been trying to get back into the habit...and then this song comes along...I really do need to praise God, no matter what happens. I can't let all the baggage keep me from God. I know thats the devil working...and I hate it! I really want to praise God through whatever happens...I really want to trust him...to know that he won't dish out anything we can't handle...sometimes it doesnt seem that way though. Could I ask that I get a little short prayer...from someone...anyone...asking that not only me...but every Christian can praise God no matter what happens? I think its very important, and extremely hard. I've recently had a bit of a renewal with God...last saturday at Quench...and it feels amazing. But I just really need help from God to keep that up with all thats going on. I know I cant rely on everyone else to pray for my spirituality...and thats not really what Im saying. I dont know what Im saying actually. Hopefully you get it.

Thanks!
~Court~

haha

Yeah...so that wasnt the poem I wanted to put on here...this is the one!

Why do we run?
why do we hide?
from God

Maybe we're scared
or Ashamed
but of what?

Condemnation?
Judgement?
Ridicule?

Who cares??
We're Christians in a secular world
We SHOULD be rejoicing

We shouldn't hide who we are
Who we long to be
who we cry out for

Faking it?
Sunday Christians,
Monday drunks!

You chose you're own life
Stick to the life you chose
Don't be ashamed of who you are

Next time you feel useless,
and even worthless
Remeber this one person GOD!

....

So I wrote 3 poems in science today...and I wanted to post one, so I hope this one makes sense.

I'm lost in a world of Confusion
Wondering, why am I even here?

Asking "will I ever make a difference?"
I know everyone has a purpose

Sometimes I feel like I work and work
and get absolutely nowhere

Am I going somewhere?
Or am I staying still in a speeding world?

Am I making a difference?
Or should I just stop trying?

I know I have God on my side,
But I really feel like Im going nowhere

All I want to do is show someone, anyone love
My love, Christ's love

Am I doing that?
Am I showing love and compassion?

I don't know,
You tell me!

So..

Yeah....So were watching 3 kids from my church while their parents are away, and its sooo fun. Their names are Teagan (8), Shane (5) and Julia (1)...and they are the best kids ever. Seriously...they're well behaved (most of the time) and Polite and yeah, but I love them so much. Julia plays hide and seek all the time with us. And OMG she gave me the worst scare ever today. I was doing the dishes...and Teagan and Shane were playing a game, and I went to check on them, and Julia wasnt with them anymore. And So I started panicing because she wasnt anywhere to be found! It was only about 5 minutes, but like...the longest 5 minutes of my life. WIth the thoughts of, "She fell and hit her head and is is dead, or almost dead" or, "she somehow got the door open, and left" you know the feeling. I was searching all over, and I went upstairs, but all the doors were closed, then I got lightbulb, haha...Teagan left her door open and Julia went in and closed it. So I walked in....and she got that "uh-oh" look on her face, and yeah it was pretty funny. Anyways...I dont really have too much to say, so Im gonna go.

ttyl
~Court~

Prayer

Prayer is something you do, when you need God
Prayer isnt something you do when you WANT something

You pray when you need something, but also to show God your love for him
Prayer is to show God your open to him


If I could ask just one favour. I cant go into details, but I have a friend and shes having a really hard time, and if you pray, please pray for her, please ask that God would help her and keep her safe through this hard time.

Thanks everyone, I love her to peices, shes one of my best friends. I know if everyone says one prayer then it can make a world of difference.

~Court~

Nachos!

Hey...so we had DYB practise last night...I couldnt play, but I listened (amazing music)...and as always, we went out after, to moxies. And yeah...so I decided I'd order some nachos. Little did I know...the nacho plate was like...a foot and a half long, yeah...I could hardly eat any of it, so yeah it finished itself pretty fast though with Phil, Paul and Nick. But it was fun. The DYB is so sad right now....there was like...15 people there...mind you, edmonton wasnt there, but still...we used to have like...30 or 35 members. It sucks. But thats alright. Anyways...thats about it...we have Quench (youth praise and worship) tonight at church...Im so excited...but simone (the loser) isnt going...haha I {heart} you simone!!! Guess what? For all of you who know this story...I SAW ERIC/ANDREW TODAY!!!!!!! If you dont know the story...ask and I'll tell you..haha.

ttyl
~Court~

LoL

Wow...so lots of posts this week...its crazy. Yeah so we went to dinner at the Dureskis on wednessday. They have a 1 1/2 year old, a 5 year old and an almost 8 year old. And Jeeze...it was fun. Julia, the youngest, started winking at us during dinner, it was one of the funniest things I've seen her do. And Teagan, the oldest came home from brownies and told us she seriously lost her hand, it was hilarious. Then of course, Shane, the middle child. Oh boy...so much to say. He and my dad were wrestling and he kept canning my dad, it was pretty funny. Oh my gosh...we had bible study last night, it was so awesome. We always watch Survivor first then do the study, and yeah...I got so much out of it. It was about todays church Vs. the church of Jesus' times. I've really been struggling with our church lately. The leadership is pretty lacking lately (sorry to anybody on the leadership team reading this). And another thing is that, all I've ever heard is "the youth is the most important part of the church" or "Youth are the church of tomorrow, and we have to respect them" but you see...no respect. The church doesnt do anything for youth. Sure, we just hired a youth discipleship director, but nothing in that area has really changed. I love Micheal and its not his fault at all. He's awesome with youth. And yeah...one of the questions last night was something along the lines of "what would todays church be like if the holy spirit was taken away from it" and you see....with some churches...to a certain extent, mine, the church is way too much about the leaders and even the services themselves. And, how much would we miss the holy spirit? Would we miss it at all? Would we even notice it was gone? Anyways, let me know what you think!

~Court~

Miracles...

Do you ever wonder...how hard is it for God to perform Miracles in our lives? I'd imagine it's pretty hard, considering I wouldn't be able to perform any miracles in anyones lives, then again, I cant do a whole lot...haha. But...God gives us miracles all the time, and we have the nerve to complain about the pain that Gods causing us. Maybe that pain, is the road to the miracle. So maybe if we try to work through the pain with God, we'll learn to appreciate Miracles more often. God has weird ways of working, but think for a minute...how often have you been having a bad day, or bad year, or whatever and pretty soon after something good happens? In my mind, a miracle isnt only bringing someone coming back to life, or curing someone of leprosy (spelled that wrong)...but a Miracle can be...your doing a school assignment and the printer craps out, then all of the sudden its working again, or you go in for surgery and come out perfectly fine, even when you shouldn't have been worrying in the first place. Or, getting hired at McDonalds could even be a miracle, yes, Mcdonalds. You never know, you could meet your future spouse there....or you could find someone that needs help, and you could be the one to help them, thats a miracle. Someone how has wandered from Christ and starts to slowly come back, even the baby steps are miracles. And people who you haven't talked to in ages randomly come back into your life...you guessed it...miracles.

Just something to think about,
~Court~

SURPRISE!

Wow, 2 postings in one day, I dont think I've ever done that...haha. K...so yeah...I went to the nose doctor earlier and they gave me this really gross nose spray...and I have to take a whole bottle (which is just smaller than a pop can) every morning and night...and its the grossest stuff I've ever had. Its horrible. And I took it for the first time tonight and UGH...my nose started bleeding...and there was blood coming from my throat (which cant be good). I guess thats what I get for having surgery though. My dad was like "well it'll help you in the long run" but I hate waiting for the end of "the long run" it sucks. Oh well...ttyl

So Random..

Yeah...so I have a new favorite song, and for those of you who don't know my life...I change favorite songs about every week, but my favorite song at the moment, is listen to your heart....the non-techno version. Its such a beautiful song, and it makes me cry. K...so I had a nose doctor appointment today...and goodness me it hurt. They like...stuck a nose vacuum up my nose haha...it hurt so bad, and it bled so bad. It was horrible. But oh well. Yeah...so I had something pretty cool happen this week! I spend a lot of time looking at blogs, and over the past 2 weeks or so I've been looking at them a lot. And I came across a blog of someone I knew a long time ago...and so I commented on her blog and we've been talking a little, its pretty cool. Anyways...I have to go, so I'll ttyl

I [heart] you

Hey!

K...I dont really have much to say. I just had my birthday...ooo...speaking of which HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGIE!!!!!!!! about 4 days late...but good enough. I got a cell phone...I was so excited. And....for all you girls who like to ask me about any boys in my life...there is....oh nevermind. Nav....if you read this...when you come for reading week we have to hang out. I have so much to talk to you about! Anyways...I have to go. So leave a comment!

To all those who...

This post is for all those people who worm their way into my life...make me think they care about me...so that I would care about them...and then just leave...just like that. No emails...no phone calls...I even went to a different city to surprise someone...and they made me feel like they didnt even care. All the money...all the effort went to waste. The worst part is...I still care about you...and no matter how hard I try...I cant let go. Your name came up and I almost cried...but I still care...explain that to me! How do you do that? How do you make me feel unimportant, unwanted, and unloved, but I still care about you. Why?

Pig? or Elephant?

Yeah....so I got surgery on my nose today...it was weird. I had to be there at 12:45...and so we got there a bit early...and they let me wear scrubs...YES SAM! SCRUBS! instead of a hospital gown....and so like...1:30 1:45 or so...I went to the washroom and discovered I was having.....girl...troubles...and didnt have anything...NOT THE BEST DAY! Oh well...and the surgery was at the childrens hospital...and so I played with the toys..it was fun. But JEEZE I tell you...no respect...I was just about to start playing with Mr. Potato head...and they called me...I couldnt believe...it my favorite toy EVER and I didnt get to play with it. Oh well. Yeah...so thats about all I have to say

EVITA!!!!

Evita is an amazing play! My drama teacher directed it...and invited us to the preview...SO AMAZING. I have to critique it though. but yeah...I wanted to say that...and if anyone wants to go see it its playing from now till I think its the 23rd at the pumphouse theatre...in Calgary and Tickets are 20 bucks. But Its soo worth the money!

Dedicated to my dear friend....sister Samantha Castor

When you try so hard but you dont succeed when you get what you want but not what you need, when you feel so tired but you can't sleep...stuck in reverse...when the tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you cant replace, when you love someone but it goes to waste...could it be worse? Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones...and I will try to fix you. When high like a bird but down below, when your too in love to let it go, but if you never try you never know just what your worth.

Thinking....

Yeah...so I've been thinking a lot lately. I miss camp so much. My friends...my camp friends are my family...and now winter weekend is cancelled...and I dont get to see them till like....August. Its not fair! k...so I had this friend...she was older than me....and her parents used to be the pastors at my church...and when she came...she was like...16ish, I was around 7 or 8...and I valued the times I had with her. Then her parents moved and she stayed here...but she moved churches and we kinda stopped talking...I dont know why...but yeah...I miss her soo much...Im turning 16 soon...and I want to be the person she was too me...the the 7 year old in my life...Teagan...shes an amazing Kid. Ange...if you ever read this...I want you to know...you encouraged me to be a mentor to kids...like you were too me. I hope you realize all that you did for me.

My future

K...so I wanted to tell you all...My future plans are...I want to go to a college called the war college. I want to work with homeless people...and thats what the war college deals with. Im so excited for it. I know....everyone thinks Im a HUGE freak because of it...but yeah. Basically...this school...its right and the street main and hastings. which Isnt the best street in the world. Everyone in Vancouver is scared to go close to this street. Lots of Drugs and Sex and yeah. I cant wait to go. If you wanna look at it... www.thewarcollege.com if you go let me know what you think. And I went and I had a tour of the whole like...3 or 4 blocks...and I was more determined to go. I cried...yes cried when I was there because I saw everyone in pain...al the homeless people.....and as a Christian it made me hurt too. So...Im gonna enclose a few pics that make me cry...and tell me what you think. PLEASE tell me what you think.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Hey

Yeah...so I had an awesome Christmas. I got to see my aunt and uncle...who I havent seen since last Christmas....and my grandparents and stuff. It was really fun. I got some wicked gifts too. My favorites are my MP3 polayer and my belt...haha its one of those belts that you can program messages into and it flashes the messages across....yeah its awesome. And my family got Bop it which...I know...its like...5 years old but its still fun! But yeah...Oh...and I got a Hillsong united CD..which is soooo good! But I think my favorite part was the family time. Seeing my family that I havent seen for a long time...and spending time with family and not fighting..haha. Yeah...thats my Christmas story.

~Court~

Oh dear!

hey

K so I havent updated this in close to a month...so I want to say...things have gotten better. My uncles good...and everything great. Things with my friends problems still havent sorted out...but I cant worry about them, otherwise Im gonna screw my life up worrying about everyone elses problems. I still love them...and Im still concerned...but its not taking over my life anymore. God made me better than that. God is my rock...hes kept me sooo strong through all of this stuff. So Christmas is coming soon! YAY! Its going to be fun. And guess what I want? A HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!! haha...I love that song. Anyways...I have to go...cause Im talking to Naomie...cause shes cool!

~Court~

Will it get better?

Will it get better?
For me?
For her?
For everybody?
When will the pain go away?
when can I feel 100% happy again?

Will it get better?
for her?
for him?
for them?
when will they be happy again?
when will they feel normal?

WHEN WILL IT GET BETTER FOR US?!
Why did it all happen at once? I cry so much....at least on the inside! I worry so much about you guys! Because I love you. I wish you didnt have to go through this!

HAHA

Hey

Yeah...I pretty much had an AMAZING weekend. My bestest friend Sam came from red deer to see us...on like....2 hours notice...because it took us 2 hours to drive up and get her. Yeah...it was an amazing weekend. We got sooo close...and yeah. Shes so funny...and pretty...no matter what she tells you. haha...she put on my Barney suit that I had when i was like...5...it was so cute! So I a pic of her in that...its sooo funny. I love you Sam. We totally baked at 2:15 on friday night/saturday morning. Oh boy were the cookies ever Floury...Apparently I cant flour stuff....lol.

OOO...and I also went to the mall with my baby today....Julia...shes a year old and I love her soooo much...she's amazing. She rode the Escalator on her feet for the first time without someone holding her...I obviously held her hands...but yeah. That reminds me...Sam...we gotta get you on more escalators...and no worries...they won't eat your feet...HAHA. Theres a pic of Julia...she made me laugh so hard.

Hey

Hey anyone who reads this (haha...probably no one!)

Hows it going? well...Im sick...have been for like...a week and a bit...and let me tell YOU...it frigen sucks. Anyways...I dont have all that much to say. Oh....my friend started talking to me more...which is AWESOME! It's made me sooo happy...without her...theres something missing...cause I know when she doesnt talk...theres something wrong...because she's just that kind of person. I love her soooo much....and I think...if you're reading this...you know who you are. OOO...funniest thing EVER!! Simone and I went to McDonalds on saturday and a drunk 16 year old came over and started talking to us about the stupidest things...like...how he didnt remember how he got to McDonalds...and he thought he knew me...and then told me I looked like one of his Cousins...because I was wearing my **new cowboy hat** and he was like "yeah...cause my whole family are hicks...so thats why you look like my cousin" soo funny...then he was leaving..and he came back and HAD to give us hugs...it was very funny...but kinda creepy at the same time. I dont know if you read this or not...but I just wanna say...I LOVE YOU ARLENE!!!! OOO and I can't forget Dana...you guys are sooo cool....haha...I love you! Anyways..I have quench practise soon...so I have to go.

~Court~

Mad, Sad and confused

Guys...I dont understand...one of my absolute best friends is being really grumpy with me...and I think she hates me...and I dont know why...I dont know what I did to make her mad...all her msn names seem so happy...but when I talk to her...she gets mad and AGH...I hate this! I feel like Im losing her...and I dont want too...shes sooo cool...and shes just...awesome. I left my house one time super early to go and spend time with her before a wedding...and now she hates me? What the Heck?!?!?! I try and be a good friend...and she shoves me away...why?!?

Romans 8:37-39

"No, all these things were more than conquerers through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither life nor death, neither Angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." This basicly says nothing can take us from the love that God shows. Now...I'm not disagreeing with that in anyway....but what I do want to say is....if thats so...why are a lot of people all like "no one loves me" and everything like that? Personally...I think its because they block that particular love out...because they're scared of it...or they're ashamed or something...Im not really sure. Off the topic of Gods love a bit...I think people ignore God when he's trying to talk to them...and no...not just some people...everyone does it...maybe not all the time...but everyone does it...mostly when he's trying to tell you something you really dont wanna hear. But Im actually talking about people feeling convicted and tried...but pushing that aside...people that arent Christians...and say they hate almost everything to do with Christianity. I dont know where Im going with that...so Im gonna stop there before it turns into a whole bunch of pointless ramblings. But if you have comments on what I said...Contridictions...agreements...arguements...Please...email me...leave a comment...call me...I want to hear from you!!!

YC was HOTT

Hey

K...so yc was soooo good. I got so much closer to God....and friends. Sam....it was AMAZING to see you! Remeber to keep in good contact with Ray. Yeah...I got hit in the face with a tetherball...I was winning too!! I hit the ball...and it wrapped around the pole and came back to hit me across the face...WHICH by the way....still hurts! That was yesterday....and It still hurts. The sessions were so spiritual...I was in tears everyday...not many people (if any) cried today....except me...but that was for kinda personal reasons which Im not gonna say right now. AHAHAHA!! Funniest thing EVER! Simone and I were sitting in the back seat on the way up to camp....and my mom slammed on the brakes...and the WHOLE bench went forward...we screamed almost as much as were did on the Hollywood tower...So after that we kept playing with it. It scared us though like everytime it went forward...but whats a ride up to camp without a couple scares right? Everytime it would fall forward we'd push really hard backwards and the seat would tilt back...and our feet were like...dangling there...it was amazing! But my mom got Micheal fix it before we came home...what a bum...who cares if its Illigal?? If we wear our seatbelts were fine cause the luggage was holding us up so we couldnt fall back to far. It was very fun though. Oh...and just to add to the adventure...my mom gets lost on the way to come...32 YEARS OF DRIVING TO CAMP...this is the first time she's ever got lost. It was funny...so shes hitting the breaks and simone and I are flying forward and then she accelerates really fast and we fly back. Funnest one ever though I think was when the bench went up further than ever....and it didnt stop for like...10 seconds...which...I know doesnt so long....but when your used to going up so far...then all of the sudden it moves up like...3 feet more...its scary! I tried to Kill Sammy...AGAIN (Apparently)! Yeah...and Sam kept getting mad cause I was taking pictures up her nose...apparently...haha YOUR MOM! lol...Move your butt.....Move your face...lol...that was amazing. Anyways...Thats enough for now. NAV I MISSED YOU...how did everything go in calgary???

~Court~

Do you know???

I wrote this a few days ago...and wanted to share it with you..


Do you know what it's like? Because, Unless your going through it, or have gone through it, it's merely impossible to know. I don't know, I know I cry when I think about it, but I can't even bign to imagine the pain, the struggle, the regret. Did they do something to deserve something as terrible as this? They're still human, they still deserve to be treated like it. Inside, were no better than them, they've faced trials, like us, some of them may have dealt with them differen't, but they're JUST LIKE US! We should be supporting them, and trying to help them, not looking at them with disgust, or fear. If you look at them in that way, you may as well look at yourself in the same way. They're not animals, and they're not murderers, they're human, 95% of them have hearts of gold, and are nicer than you and me. Sure they have some problems, but everyone does. There is not a single person in this world that has no problem, whatsoever.


If you can figure that out...leave a comment...let me know who YOU think its about.

~Court~

Dear Kelly

Dear Kelly,

It's been nearly a year now. I'm sorry I never got to spend time with you. I'm sorry I never went for coffee with you. I'm sorry whenever you'd call my house drunk, I'd get annoyed. I'm just sorry for everything!! I miss you so much. You were such a beautiful person, and you were special to me. When Arden took your life, he took a piece of me too. I wish I could tell you this stuff in person, but I was to late. I was to self-centered to stop and realize how much you really cared about me, and how much I cared about you. I'm going to regret all this all my life. I miss you, and always will. I can't bring myself to take your number off my cell phone...I will always remember you. Thank you for everything you've done.

I love you!
~Courtney~

:(

Hey Guys

So I think...most of you probably know...about a year ago...we had a friend go missing...and then in november...ish...we found out she had been murdered. Well...I've actually been really struggling with it lately...the past couple days...cause, I had to send pictures from my old school computer to my email...and I've been going through those and theres a whole bunch of her from her funeral. I dont know why all of the sudden I'm bumbed out about it...usually after a couple months...Im not grieving anymore...and now...its been almost a year and Im still nearly crying about it. If you guys (if you pray)...if you could just pray for her family and friends...especially her dad...yeah. If you have any questions about it...I totally wanna answer them...i just cant stay long...so yeah...feel free to ask questions about the murder...and anything!

~Court~

Who is Christ?

At bible study last night...Peter asked the question "Who is Christ?" and it really got me thinking. If someone were to ask me that....what would I say? I honetly can't answer that because...He's God's son, God's right hand man, and God....so honetly...how do you answer that without the person thinking your crazy? If you have any answers...whatsoever...feel free to tell me..I think that would be cool!

YAYness

Hey guys (no gansta talk)

Today was awesome!! I didnt eat lunch alone...HURRAY! lol. Kaitlynn ate with me...we sit together in math..which is right before lunch...and our lockers are right beside each others...so we put our stuff away and walked over to the gas station together for lunch. And....tonight...is the first Survivor bible study of the year YIPEE!! So I have to leave soon. But yeah...GRRR...I miss everyone soooo fricken much!its really not fair. Oh well. Im really beggining to think no one reads this...cause no one ever leaves comments...btw...thanks Amanda! Howd you get my blog? Hmmm...I should go...cause..yeah....Bible study WOOHOO!

Soo...

Hey G's (HA! thats right Im gangsta!...I've been doing that a lot lately...dont know why!..lol)

I ate lunch alone today again...so far..thats thursday...friday...I think saturday...yesterday (monday) and today. But I looked in my locker at all my friends (the pictures) and smiled...especially at Kryz and Annalise Kranenburg! oh well...sometimes being the one eating along is better than being the ones who make other people sit along right? I have to go soon...Michaels taking Simone and I to B*witched tonight. I just wanna say...all my friends from camp...you guys are all amazing (hott...eh Elisha?) and I miss you so much!!! Right now...I really miss Arlene, Elisha and Krystal...I love you guys!!!!! and Everyone else too. And Arlene...my mom and I are really gonna work on my dad to get that nose ring...if I ever come up for a weekend...thats my rule...I have to be in lethbridge in order to do it! Anyways...I really should go...ttyl! Leave comments!!!

~Skwittles (or court)~

:(

Hey all

Im having a bit of a downer of a night...actually...tonight has just plain sucked! First...I went out to look for my grease CD...which I put in the Van the last day of music camp...and my dad said it was probably just in a CD case...and I looked in all of them..and it wasnt in any of them...and my sister gave it to me 2 days before she left for australia. It makes me soooo mad...and sad...ask my cosuin...I was soooo mad! Then I just really started missing everyone from camp. Yeah...camps an amazing place to be...and the people are soooo awesome to be around...the only crappy part is having to come home and have to go through all the camp withdrawls. Why does it happen like that? If someone actually leaves a post (or emails me), and can answer that question...I would be sooo shocked! But seriously, I know everyone goes through camp withdrawls...but, yeah. wow...I just realized the computer clock is right again...it was an hour off for a while. Anyways..yeah...I just needed to write out some of my feelings...and it made me feel sooo much better...thank you everybody who read this, for actually taking the time!

Cool stuff

Hey

Yeah....so i started school this week...real school. For everyone that didnt know...I did virtual school at home for 5 years before this. Its pretty cool...I met a couple cool people...Cathy and Erin...and Emma...but I've known emma for like...7 or 8 years. And then my locker neighbor (I dont know her name though...haha). Hmm...yeah...I totally didnt want to go...but I really felt God telling me too...especially after my cousin told me to this summer (thanks Jenn). And on monday...my mom was like "were going to enroll you in school tomorrow" and I like freaked out...it was craaazy. Then I went and prayed and read my bible...and came out excited about it though...which is really weird.... but yeah....God totally answered my prayer...and fast...its only the second time thats ever happened...the only other time was at winter weekend. I just totally wanna give a shout-out to God...cause he totally helped me through this stuff...and yeah...he's awesome...and I'm really not trying to preach...I just wanted to say whats on my mind! If you have questions about what I wrote...or about God...even if you are a Christian...ask me!

~Court~

Funny funny stuff from camp

~Yours hairs is long....haha Arlene!
~THIS IS A RAID! Were not gonna do anything....but were saying its a raid anyways...lol...sr. boys
~ Uhhhh....guys...my finger is seriously stuck in my hair....oh Arlene....I love you so much!
~ haha....the frog/monkey/lion/giraffe
~ major second, major 3rd, perfect forth, perfect fifth, major sixth, major seventh, octopus...Awww..Annalise is soooo cute.
~ Joy down gangsta style
~ I had no one to do....lol...that was one fun devos...for all you who remember.
~ hahaha...Laura slamming her thumb in the window!
~ HAHA...Jayden and Noelle Flicking Arlenes gum off the table...Priceless!~
~ Singing your the one that I want...and Arlene singing the guys back-up part...so funny!
~ Going to flagbreak soaking wet because that one prank went wrong...and it was all my fault...lol...sorry Guys "OH MOTHER!"
~ lol...the fake intermediate fight
~ ooo...digging through a tub of worms with my mouth...sooo fun!
~ haha...all the pepsi falling out eh Sarah?!
~ Arlene not trusting us to take her back to the Tarzan rope...haha
~ Playing Tetherball...especially with Arlene...Hows that armpit doing?
~ Arlene asking us to roll down the hill...the blaming it on us when she felt dizzy
~ Chicken fights!
~ haha...cat food on crackers...it would make a very good appetizer
~ haha...waxing the boys legs (Pauls hair still hasnt grown back yet...its still super smooth)
~ Oh right...cant forget the Scorpion in the pool biting us.
~ The net Matt and Stefan left for us in our room (thanks guys)
~ Then tripping over the net...looking up...and seeing none other than My counceller laughing at me...haha...oh I love you...your so cool
~ Stealing the toilet seats with Lori...so fun!
~And last but certainly not least (drumroll please...haha..Im a geek), Brandon catching us on our raid..and thinking we were locked it richards room!

Hello my name is Courtsney....lol

Hey....so in case your wondering about the whole courtsney thing....Lori accidentally called me Courtsney at camp cause she had a mouthful of Chips or something...and Laura continued it. Courtsney and Skwittles...I went to say skittles...and an extra w slipped in there somehow...lol. Hmm....lets see....some camp stories...hmmm.....k...first day of Music camp....we had a meet the counceller thing...and Arlene kept trying to convince us she was from LA...when Really...shes from Lethbridge...haha...get it...Lethbridge...Alberta...ha, yeah...it was funny....it may not sound that funny though. Hmm...what else? ....... Oh yeah...I took Krystal and Laura to low ropes and we kept whipping the tarzan rope at each other. Oh...and Krystal whipped me right on the side of the face....the bottom of my arm...and umm....other places....lol. theres so many stories I cant fit them all in....lets see...we went to prank the Sr. Boys...and wrecked it by tripping...landing on my water ballons...and screamed "OH MOTHER"...I know the whole oh mother thing doesnt make sense....but for some reason I started saying it at camp. and uh...yeah. Haha...one night...I told Arlene I'd do devotions...and she kept making us laugh. And after everyone finally stopped laughing...I started reading a verse...or something...and all of the sudden we heard this "uhh...guys..." so we all looked up...and Arlene was sitting there with here finger in her hair...and she was like "K...my finger is seriously stuck in my hair" haha...it was sooo funny. Yeah...anyways..thats it for now...Someone....place a comment!

~~Courtsney~~