Love - What is it really?

What do we see love as?

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can

Love is so much more! If you love someone...and they do something that makes you angry...whats the more loving thing to do? Hide it under the rug...or confront it?

If someone you Love is doing something you know they shouldn't be...what's the loving thing to do? Wait until they come to a realization themselves, or get caught...or pull them aside and tell them they're being stupid (usually in nicer terms than that)?

Love is being honest. It's doing what needs to be done for the Kingdom. If it means saying "Don't spend that money on drugs"...say it. Don't be afraid to say things out of love because then your just a coward. If it means saying "you're being an idiot right now"...as long as its from love, go for it. Love involves getting mad at a broken promise...not getting passive aggressive. Love is getting angry when someone you love is chained by addiction or prostitution, and doing anything you can to help them. Love is doing what you can to help. Love is yelling when you have to, crying when you have to, laughing when you have to and holding onto someone when you have to.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."

God is Love. Jesus is Love.

How are we showing love to our friends, neighbors, co-workers, classmates...how are we showing love to the body? How are we showing real love to the members of the body who we know aren't making good choices? How are we showing love? Are we sweeping it under the carpet?

prioritizing our lives

I was at a conference called 'Unrelenting' this weekend. Nicole got up and talked a bit about the war room and what it was all about...and 24-7 prayer and stuff. And a guy got up and talked about how...we think about doing 3 hour prayer shifts, and think "we need an extra day in the week". And it totally resonated with me. Not just for prayer shifts...but for our daily walk with the Lord. We're Christians...but what are we offering to God? Yeah...we do the church activities...we serve in the church in various ways...but are we allowing the Lord to speak to us?

I got to thinking...if we "don't have time" to do half an hour or 45 minutes of devotions a day...where are we really at with the Lord? It's not necisarily the easiest thing...but maybe we need to cut down time with our boyfriends/girlfriends, our time on the internet, playing video games, spending crazy amounts of time on our hair/make-up everyday. You SAY you want to get closer to the Lord, but what are you DOING to make it happen?

I'm not saying this in a condeming way at all, because I struggle with it as well. But...I am saying this in a...we really need to focus on the Lord. Really spend time with the Lord. If you give something up...maybe video games, internet, or tv...for a week...and you spend that extra time reading your bible, praying, worshiping, listening to the Lord...I can almost guarantee that those things will become less important...and it will help change your priorities.

Walking with the Lord is to walk WITH...he's not gonna carry you through your life...you have to make an effort at this.

Glory to God,
Courtney

The vision

So....I was in the car with Nicole yesterday...and she played this. And I was blown away. Speechless. The only thing I could do was like...cry out...and like...just sit there with my jaw dropped. Amazing.

The vision THE VISION So this guy comes up to me and says "what's the vision? What's the big idea?" I open my mouth and words come out like this… The vision? The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus. The vision is an army of young people. You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism. They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.They wouldn't even notice.They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport.. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.What is the vision ?The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure. Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games. This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.A million times a day its soldiers choose to loosethat they might one day winthe great 'Well done' of faithful sons and daughters. Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!" And this is the sound of the undergroundThe whisper of history in the makingFoundations shakingRevolutionaries dreaming once againMystery is scheming in whispersConspiracy is breathing…This is the sound of the underground. And the army is discipl(in)ed. Young people who beat their bodies into submission. Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tattoo on their back boasts "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain". Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ? Can hormones hold them back?Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them ? And the generation prays like a dying manwith groans beyond talking,with warrior cries, sulphuric tears andwith great barrow loads of laughter!Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365. Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries. They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside. On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide. Would they surrender their image or their popularity? They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair. With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them. Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.Don't you hear them coming? Herald the weirdo's! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden. And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner. Guaranteed.

Dead and Gone

Nicole and I were listening to this song the other day and talking about how its a song of such redemption! The chorus is just so great. "The old me is dead and gone" is so awesome! It totally goes along with the "life and death" theme we had at RAW in march. Die to yourself, and live for Christ...and this song seriously resembles that. Death to what you were and becoming transformed into "a new person"

Take a listen!

Freedom for the captives

Tonight, I went to Tehillah monday, and was really struggling at first, I actually almost left because I just wasnt feeling anything at all. But I decided to stay for a bit...and they did a talk about an aids run, and then did another one about healing and freedom...and I started thinking about Leighanne. And broke down. I just started weeping and praying for freedom and healing for her. This went on for a while...and then I left and just felt the Lord saying to go to the reservoir. So I drove to the reservoir and got out of the car and booked it down to where the water was...and I didnt know what I was doing there, all I knew is that I needed to be there...then I picked up rocks...little ones to start with, and started throwing them into the water, and each one symbolized a physical mark on her body...somewhere a prick from where she stuck a needle, the burst vein in her leg, her sores, etc. as the rocks got bigger, the reasons got bigger too. Eventually, big rocks got thrown in symbolizing Aids, Cancer, Addiction, etc. Then, I finished by building a rock sculpture thing and proclaiming it to represent new life in Leighanne. Then I drove to another area of the reservoir where you can sit in your car and look over the water, and I played the song "shout unto God" really loudly...and just yelling the words at the top of my lungs for Leighanne. I left feeling so much hope. It was a beautiful moment.

I love Leighanne so much.

Celebrate and rejoice!

Today, Leighanne celebrated her official 38th birthday! I'm so happy that I got to rejoice in this day with her. She's a beautiful Woman!

Today was also our War College graduation. Kind of a bittersweet event. I cried...a lot. My first real crying moment was looking at Leighanne as we were getting our certificates and stuff...because she was crying a lot. Then I stood up to give my testimony of what I conquered this year and broke down. I got prayed for by leadership, then went over to Leighanne and just cried on her shoulder for a long time. She told me the most beautiful thing. She told me that she blessed me in any choice I make and anywhere I go and that she'll miss me, but she's proud of me. And if you know Leighanne at all, you'll know that that is a pretty big thing for her to say. I just love her so much.


Conquerors session '08/'09

Oh! it is love

So….Im just gonna be straight up. It hit me today that War College is done in a couple days. Do you realize how scary that is? I go home on Sunday and then on to Chicago. My mind keeps thinking that I’m only gonna be away from Vancouver and 614 for a short time, like…a break…or summer assignment, and then I’ll be back but thus far that’s not in the plans. And that makes me very sad. About 4 hours ago my heart filled with great sadness. I know that the Lord has great things in store for me…but I don’t want to have to say good-bye. I just love everyone here so much, and my love has grown so much as well in the last little while. I’ve never been good at good-byes....but I feel like this is harder than the typical good-byes that I’ve had to say before. I had a conversation with a friend of mine today about how I cover stuff up with humor…and I do that too often. I literally sat here and thought about something funny to say…but then realized…I cant do that….because Im sitting here listening to my “sad-sies” playlist on itunes with a very sad feeling in my heart…so funny shouldn’t be something on my mind right now.

To all of 614 and war college who is reading this. I love you all. You have helped the Lord make me stronger in many ways and you have shown me a lot about the body of Christ, and shown me a lot of support in a lot of different areas.

Thank you.

Bootsma!

So it's been a while since I blogged last, and Im not actually sure if anyone actually reads this...so I dont know if it matters haha.

I'm still in Blue Island/Chicago and loving every minute of it! I'm actually working on a visa to come back for the year.

I've been incredibly inspired since being here. The youth in this division are so connected and United in Christ. Its beautiful! Whenever I'm in a worship setting with the youth in the division its something I've never seen before. It's something that brings me to tears every time, and I can't even really begin to describe it. The youth are genuinely concerned about everyones spiritual well being and its a beautiful thing. They hold each other accountable, and do what they can to help each other remain on a righteous path.

My heart bursts for joy because i know that I am never without the Lord and I wish everyone could feel the same way. The Lord is in my relationships. its beautiful! I'm becoming more bold because of it. Boldness is something I yearn for.

Let Justice Roll.

I see a generation rising up to take its place

The church, in general, has been lazy...for quite a while now. I strongly believe that THIS generation can be the generation to put a stop to that! If we rise up...if we stop caring about what the world is thinking about us and start caring about what the Lord is thinking about us...then we can make a change.

We have to be United in order to make a change. We have to be able to pray together, to worship together without judging each other, we have to be willing to be honest with each other. If we see someone doing something that isn't representing God in a good way, we have to be willing to step up and say "hey...what are you doing?" We're too afraid that people will be angry with us or that they'll judge us. We need to get rid of our pride and think about the Kingdom of God.

We need to know that we are saved. If you are unsure of your Salvation, if it actually exists, you're probably not saved. You should get on that...but only if you mean it!

To quote Katy Perry "You're Hot, then you're cold, you're yes, then you're no, you're in then you're out, you're up then you're down"...to be a Christian (yes I know that this is not what the song is talking about) you can't be in between. You cant bounce between Hot and Cold, you are not in THEN out, you're in OR out. Your Hot OR cold. Theres no in between. If you're in this, then you're in this...you have to be willing to make sacrifices and give things, and quite possibly, give people up. Peers are often what holds us back from true Salvation.

Lets rise up!

This past week has been pretty crazy! Great! But crazy. I'm going to Chicago for the summer! Thats exciting! Im really excited for it...but not so excited about having to leave everyone here. But we spent a lot of time over last weekend with community and stuff...and had Albertas Birthday party!!

We went to Rivendell for the week. Its a retreat centre on bowen Island and you have to walk up a small mountain to get to it haha. But it was amazing! I was able to give up a lot of the burdens I've been carrying around this year which felt sooo good! One of the coolest things for me, though, was that I was able to climb a couple hills...like...mountain faces almost. That is something that I used to love doing...and have had a desire to do for so long but was always too scared of what could have happened...but one day I was just like...Im gonna climb that hill...and realized once I got to the top that I wasnt scared at all. I was completely fine. I went again the next day...I've got a couple cuts on my legs and hands but I loved it a lot. Something inside of me was released this week..something really good.

Well...I gotta finish packing now!

It's time to rise up!

Lately, I’ve been praying a lot for the youth back home in Alberta. I really just want to see a revolutionary change within them! I’ve come to the realization lately, that our generation, whether we like it our not, is lazy when it comes to our relationships with Christ. If we’re lazy in our relationships, we are not going to do a good job at what we are called to do, make disciples of all men. If we are not being disciples ourselves, its basically impossible for us to make disciples of others. It’s not just the youth in Alberta, no one is being singled out…It’s the youth all over, but the Lord has just placed the youth in AB on my heart so I’ve been praying pretty intensely for them. I really believe that if the youth in one area (Alberta, for instance) rise up in Christ, start living lives that are full on for Christ, become united with each other, hold each other accountable, etc. youth in other denominations and other Provinces and other countries will be encouraged to do the same.

In the song “Hosanna” by Hillsong united, one of the lines says “I see a generation, rising up to take their place. We’re on our knees, we’re on our knees” and today, I was praying and I sat down at the piano and literally played that line over and over again for like…10 minutes just praying that this generation would be the one to rise up! I want to see a revival in our generation!

I used to be of the belief that “we’re young; we can’t do anything to change the world.” Or “no one will listen to us” but DUDE! We don’t need to be LISTENED to…we need to be observed. If we’re walking in a way that is wholly devoted to Christ, and we are trying our hardest to lead a sinless life, then people will see that, and will be encouraged by it!

My encouragement to you, whoever is reading this right now, whether your from Alberta or not, is to look inside of yourself. Are you full on for Christ? Are you striving for Holiness and sanctification? When William Booth, the founder of the Salvation Army, was 15 years old, he spoke the words “God shall have all there is of William Booth”…I think we should all look at that as an encouragement, not because it was William Booth and we should all do what he did, because we’re individuals, but because he spoke extremely powerful words at a young age. We should be giving God all there is of us. If you are leading a double life, if you are doing anything that isn’t pleasing to God…confess them! Turn to Christ! Be in a full state of repentance!

The Lord loves his people and he seriously desires for his people to love him back and show that they love him!

Amazing Grace

A year ago, I never thought I’d be standing on a street corner singing “Amazing Grace” and “What a mighty God we serve” with a guitar and a group of amazing people and be brought to tears. Well…that is what happened last night. We had an open air on the corner of Main and Hastings and it was beautiful. So many people came and joined us, the Spirit of the Lord was there and it was powerful. People who were passing by were drawn in and heard the word of the Lord, people who were driving by stopped at the red lights with their windows rolled down just so they could hear us…it was truly an amazing event.

Some people say it’s impossible to see beauty in the downtown eastside. But I think it’s impossible to NOT see beauty if you actually WANT to see it.

Amazing Grace is a song that I have heard my whole life, and it’s just been a song, I’ve never really thought about the words until the last couple of months. The Lords grace is so amazing that he saved us from the damnation of Hell! “I was once was lost, but now I’m found. Was blind but now I see.” That line is so beautiful! The Lord desires for us to be with him! He searches for us in hopes that we will return to him. How often do we reject him, and he still has Amazing Grace for us.

Well…that’s my thought for now.

It is well with my soul!

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

We sang this song at knee drill tonight. I was praying and singing along when I realized...for the first time in my entire life, I can truly say I know for sure that it IS well with my soul. I was praying for a specific group of people, that they would know for certain what was going to happen with their soul when they die, or that they knew for sure that Christ was coming to take them home when he comes back. And i realized, those 2 things don't really freak me out anymore. I used to get scared when I'd think of death and the 2nd coming to the point of losing breath over it...I had faith in Christ and I believe I had salvation, but occasionally had doubts...slowly over the last few years those feelings and thoughts slowly started fading and I realized tonight Im not completely freaked anymore. I think it's normal to be a little bit nervous about them because it's our natural tendancy to be nervous of the things we don't really know the exact timing of.

I really want anyone who reads this to look at your life. How is it in your soul? Does the fact the Yahweh Bore your sin on Calvary bring you a feeling of complete joy, yet complete sorrow that he suffered that pain for your sake? He took on our crap so that we wouldn't have to carry those things anymore. Are you allowing Christ to do what he wants to do in your life or are you still in control of parts of your life? Submit wholly to Christ and the things he has for you. Some stuff that he tells you to do may suck in the moment but ultimately it's the best thing for you.

Listen to what he has to say to you!

Sorry this post is so random...

Doctrine 8 question - How do you know you're saved?

We believe that we are justified by grace through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and that he that believeth hath the witness in himself.



You questionably know you are saved. If you're questioning your own personal Salvation, you're most likely not saved.

The bible shows that the prophets, apostles, and saints knew that they were saved. Job knew that "his redeemer lived" and enoch knew that he pleased God. Nothing in the bible is more evident than those holy people acted, fought, and suffered under the fullest conviction that they were the children and servants of the most high God.



1 John 3:19
It is by our actions that we know we are living in the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before the Lord.


Common sense says that you can't be forgiven, be made a new creature, Love God with all your heart, give up living a selfish life, have a heart washed from sin, consecrate yourself to saving souls, and altogether live such i christ-like life as we are called to live as followers of Christ, but be in doubt of your salvation.

You know when you're living a converted life!

He hates things that before he loved,
He loves things that before he hated.

Romans 12

Romans 12
Living Sacrifices
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[b]faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

Love
9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.

17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"[d]says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."[e] 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.


I love Romans 12! I was reading it last night with my friends Leighanne and Lane at Recre8 and it started such a great conversation. Lane was talking about how he's a born again Christian...and he just wants to see the Lord reign on the downtown eastside and it was awesome. And after reading romans 12, a guy that Leighanne isnt all the crazy about came in and she was about to start yelling at him...and I was like...hey...what did we just read. And her response was beautiful. "If I give my anger to God, he'll take care of them" haha then she was like "Ya hear that! Jesus' will kick you butt so I dont have to!" Haha...it was funny. Romans 12 has just been really on my mind lately...so i thought i'd say why.

Life and death

This weekend was a beautiful weekend. On saturday, I attended a memorial for an aborted baby, which was beautiful to see the mother of the child working past the guilt and shame she was feeling for having an abortion. She named the baby and prior to the memorial, through listening prayer she was able to hold her baby and then place him in Jesus' arms so she could see that he was safe. It was a beautiful memorial. Then the next day we celebrated her birthday, which was also great! It was a great weekend to celebrate life.

As we were at the baby memorial, we sang Amazing Grace and i looked at my friend, the mother, and started to cry because I just saw the Lords amazing grace in her life, and I saw her being able to accept that grace now and it was truly great!

The Lords love and grace has amazed me recently. Like...the atonement. It happened so we could be at one with Christ...hense..AT-ONEment. If it wasnt for the atonement, where would we be? What kind of situation would we, as the church, be in? Well...I dont even think there would be a Christian church. The Lord has done great things for us and we don't even recognize it!


Paul says 'if we have Salvation through the atonement, should we keep on sinning?' (not a direct quote!) Umm...nope! We shouldn't. In hebrews 10:26, 27 it says

If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.

Therefore, if we acknowledge that Christ has atoned for our sins, we cannot just say...well...Im saved, Im come into Salvation, so...I can just go on with my worldy life. It doesnt work that way! If we acknowledge christ and then continue sinning, we will have eternal judgement.

This is what has been going through my head recently.

Glory to God

2 Timothy 2:22

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

We were in the gardening again today. We prayed this verse in the garden. I've decided that Wednesday morning gardening is one of my favorite things at the moment. It's great! My favorite part is weeding, and pulling the weeds. Often times, I use that time to reflect on how it's like sin. Sometimes, you get weeds that have really short roots, and are really easy to pull out, and other times you have weeds that have been growing for a really long time and you need to use a shovel and dig them out, and it takes a lot of work. Sometimes we have sins that are keeping us from growing into the beautiful person that the Lord desires us to be. Sometimes the sins are really small and if you recognize them, they're pretty easy to get rid of, and other times we've been doing the same sin for so long, sometimes not realizing it was a sin and other times knowing full well that it was a sin and just choosing to ignore it, and then we see the light and feel the need to change, it takes a lot of work to get it out. But we have to make sure we're willing to put in whatever effort it takes to get rid of those weeds in our lives. We need to see what and where the weeds are in our lives so that we can cleanse ourselves of them and make ourselves the beautiful people that the Lord desires us to be.

Side note: Dominic and Noah came to the garden about halfway through. It was really great.One of my favorite parts was, Dominic came over to me and asked if he could help, so I gave him my little shovel thing and he was trying so hard to dig up the weeds...It was so awesome. Then he'd get some weeds up and throw them into the wheel barrow where we were throwing them and he'd get so excited that he was helping. And he and Noah were the "scarecrows" chasing after all the pigeons that came into the garden. Theres just something about gardening and seeing all the plantlife and stuff thats growing and having kids around thats a real special thing.

Thats my reflection on todays gardening.

4 months...

Oh man...I came to the realization last night that we only have 4 months of War College left. 4 months! 2 of that is on summer assignment, so we only have 2 months left in Vancouver! Thats a scary, yet exciting, thought. It's been a great 8 months. Lots of tears, lots of laughs, lots of meltdowns but a crazy amount of support through it all. It's been an amazing time so far...Im excited to see what the Lord has in store for the next 4 months, and beyond.

I reconnected with a friend this week. A friend that I've had my struggles with and cried some tears over, but I've grown and from the sounds of things, she has too. The Lord has really been talking to me about forgiveness and how I can't move past the point Im at right now if Im holding a grudge. I've really been focusing on forgiving those who have wronged me in the past, and also focusing on not making myself the victim in those situations, and in situations that are going to come my way. Instead of making it all their fault, also finding the things I could have done better to prevent things because in every altercation there are at least 2 people involved and 2 people at fault for at least some of it.

I've been continuing to run at 6 14 in the morning with chub club. Lately it's just been Nicole and I, but it's been really cool to hang out with her in that way...and I've noticed my self-esteem has been boosted a bit more since I started running, which is cool. It's also a cool way to connect with the Lord. When i run in Crab park and I look and see the mountains and stuff its just so beautiful.

The Lord has really been speaking to me about humility and being humble in the things that I do. Im in the process right now of searching for areas in myself where I may be prideful or areas that Im just not humble enough in. It's a really hard thing to have to come to terms with when you realize your being prideful in areas of your life, but after you've found it, caught a hold of it and let it go its sooo much better!


Well, thats about it!

Courtney

P.S the Lord has also been speaking to me about life, and this is a representation of life in the DTES, where a lot of people only see death.

On my mind

I've been thinking about a lot lately.

I've been praying a lot for the church as a whole. And about how as a whole, we're not really rising up to what the Lord has called us to in the word. There are pockets of the church who are and certain denomonations who are, but the entire Christian Church should be rising up to what he desires us to do. There are so many churches that just sit in their church buildings on sundays, and during the week if they have weekly programs, but what do they do outside of the church? What do they do to bring people into the church and to introduce them to the Lord? The Lord has called us to get people saved and as a whole, we're being lazy about it.

It's not just todays church either, its been happening forever. There are records of this in the Word as well. I apologize if this sounds harsh but it's just what the Lord has put on my heart recently.

Also...we were in the garden yesterday. I really like life. I like seeing new life. Living here is really hard when a lot of what you see and hear about is death, spiritual death and physical death. But there is life! There is life everywhere, it's just harder to see because sometimes its burried by death. The Garden is a beautiful representation of life. There isn't a whole lot that has sprouted yet, but it's still a beautiful place. It's great.

God is great and he has great plans for the world and for everyone in the world.

2 Corinthians 5

I wrote this early one morning, I hope it makes sense.

Oh man. There is so much stuff in 2 Corinthians 5. It’s packed with stuff! It’s definitely a chapter where you need to be able to focus. If you don’t fully focus you won’t pick out a lot of stuff. I was tired the first time I read it, so I’m going to try to read it more and more and see what I pick out each time.

It talks about a lot of different things. The first thing I picked out was that all of our possessions on earth are going to fade away. It says that the earthly tent we live in will be destroyed, but we have a building from God, and eternal house in heaven, that wasn’t built by human hands. When the Lord comes back, all of our stuff will no longer be with us, but we’ll be beyond satisfied with the things we have in heaven. I think this verse is an encouragement to really be who we say we are, and really be followers of Christ. Christ wouldn’t live his life for the stuff he can store up, but rather the people he can get saved for the betterment of the kingdom.

It talks about how we should “walk by faith, not by sight”. We hear this a lot, but what do we really think of it? What do we really hear when we hear that verse? I didn’t see Jesus raise from the dead, but I know he did. I have faith in the word of the Lord and trust that that is what happened. I can’t see the physical body of Christ from where I’m sitting right now, but I can know he’s here with me. He never leaves me.

“Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others” – We need to earnestly and actively seek the Lord, and yearn for his fear to be in us. It doesn’t just naturally come to us so we can deliver it to others. We need to go deeper with the Lord and know how to properly evangelize so that there will be only truth in the world when it comes to the kingdom, and the Lord.

Affirmation is where its at

I've recently decided that one of my love languages is words of affirmation. I used to say I didnt care what people said to me...but I'm realizing that isnt true. I really love being affirmed. Yesterday, 4 people gave me words of affirmation in completely unrelated situations, and I felt so happy all day, so I guess its a good thing.

Thats pretty much all I have to say right now...

So its been a week

I haven't blogged in a week...its been a weird week. last friday at recre8 Leighanne had a bit of a freak out...she was on some bad drugs and got pretty aggressive, so we had to Bar her for a month. It was pretty intense. But the thing is, she left too quickly and we couldnt actually tell her she was barred. So we went to see her on teusday night...twice and she didnt answer the door either time. Then Nicole and I went I went to her hotel and werent permitted up, so we left a note. Then...we went to Insight to leave a note. That was interesting. It wasnt open yet by the time we got there...and there were people standing outside just waiting to get in. It was like kids waiting to get into a candy shop...at first I thought it was kinda funny, but then I was like...Wait..not so funny. Their Candy is drugs. They are waiting to get in to get drugs. It just made me so sad.

But anyways, back to Leighanne. I saw her randomly as I was coming out of Carnegie...and so I went to talk to her. I was waiting for her to just walk away because she hated us last friday. But she came up and gave me a hug. Told me she helped deliver a baby in her room the night before *Awkward*. Then I was like...we need to talk about what happened at recre8. And she was like..."How long until I can come back?" and I told her a month and she was so apologetic, but so understanding. She was like..."I'll apologize to everyone." then i told her I'd let her know the day she can come back. She was so great. She wants to get into detox, which she says often, but I want to try to get her in and see if she's being serious about it this time.

Anyways, thats basically been my week.

God is Just

My friend is dying of cancer and aids

But God is still Just

My friends dad is going to Prison

But God is still Just

There are women being exploited, and they think its empowering to them

But God is still Just

There are friends shooting other friends up while they're passed out

But God is still Just

There are people dying all around me

But God is still Just


God is a Just God. The song God of Justice has been really big for me the last couple of days. When it says "we must go, live to feed the hungry, stand beside the broken, we must go. Stepping forward, keep us from just singing. Move us into action, we must Go". Yesterday, I was sitting in a session at RAW with Leighanne, and the speaker, Rochelle McAlister (who was an amazing speaker...PS) mention how the Average age expectancy of death in Canada is 80.4. When she said that, Leighanne looked at me and burst into tears and so I sat with her for quite a while just holding her while she cried. It was a beautiful moment, but heartbreaking at the exact same time.

God is Just, even if the world is not.

How Marvelous

The last few days have been weird. Thursday I was kind of in a weird mood all day, then we got to knee drill and the spirit just came over me in an amazing way. We were singing "Exalted" by Chris tomlin and it was just an amazing moment for me.

Then yesterday, I got locked out of my room...so I went to Crab park and just stood on the beach..ish area and How Marvelous came on my ipod and I started crying...again..I beautiful moment. I was looking and seeing the ocean and the mountains...and like...it was just such a God moment. It was fantastic.

I feel like God is wanting to have a more intimate relationship with me...and im so excited for it!

On a side note...I really just love 614 a lot. I love the community. I just really love it.

Sad-sies

I'm just having a sad day.

I walked passed a man shooting up in his thigh with his pants down

I spent 15 dollars on 4 gluten free groceries

I threw up 5 times after eating one of the gluten free items

I tried to sleep but the mice woke me up cause they were fighting

I just feel sad today

wow

So quite a bit of stuff has happened in the last 5 days. I haven't really felt like blogging cause I dont really know what to say. I've been in the war room (prayer room) 4 times in the last 3 days praying about a whole bunch of stuff, for other people and also for myself, for revelation for myself.

I love 614. I think the community life is beautiful. I love being held accountable to things...and i love living on the dtes. There is so much glory and beauty in the DTES. I love it soooo much!

Thats about all Im gonna say right now.

The lord is working

So, we had recre8 tonight. And first of all...the set up of it was awesome! We did Karaoke for about half an hour of it. But really...thats not best part, surprisingly!

My friend came in and told me she was moving out because her common law partner is in Jail for the 2nd time that I know of for abuse against her. So, she's looking to move out before he gets out of Jail. So i took her up to grace mansions to do the whole application thing, and we're going to try to find a temporary place until she hears from them.

Then, Our friend leighanne came in and she was like and told me she needed to talk to me. She had tears in her eyes. So we went into the classroom and talked and she just started crying so much! And she told us that she felt alone because she didn't have God in her life and she didn't want that to be the case. She doesn't want the devil to have victory in her. She wants to be clean again! Praise the Lord! She's so beautiful, I love her with my whole heart! I want her to be clean so badly! She's coming to camp with us in May...and she got really excited.

Well...I just wanted to say that the Lord is moving in the Downtown Eastside.

LOVE!

Today, in pray the bible, we prayed from Hosea. God totally spoke to me through it! He was talking to me about Love. Real love, not superficial love that we tend to show. But truly loving is something that is not easy to do. It's easy to love those that are easy to love and who love you back. But, we should have the same love for them that we have for those who are "the least of these". The people who do not feel loved should be loved by the church, shouldn't they? The church should love them like we love the other members of the church.

Just what was on my mind!

Change

So much has changed since I left for vancouver! New furniture...new movies...theres an elevator in my corps...which is soo weird! There are new youth leaders, theres just so much change. But I think its good change...especially in relation to my corps. Theres a lot of good sprouting up...some of that good is from these changes, but like...new bibles and an elevator is not going to produce fruit in a church but there is fruit in our corps. I can see it.

There has also been a lot of Change within myself.I didn't think I had changed at all by the time Christmas rolled around and I was really starting to get discouraged, but the last couple weeks has been a time of reflecting back over the last 5 months and oh wow...I have changed so much! I've grown so much in my relationship with the Lord. I've also grown as a person as well. I always used to think that if I was friends with someone who was even a year or so older than me then I was the young one who didnt have anything to offer in the relationship...but that has totally changed in the last little while. I feel as if I can actually offer stuff to relationships. I feel like I can truly help when others are struggling with stuff.

Well...thats me...thats what I've been thinking about lately.

mixed emotions

Ok, so heres the thing. Im home in Calgary right now...and Im having an awesome time. My best friend is here, we hung out with a bunch of camp people yesterday, went to peters drive-in and got a milkshake (of course). But like...I miss 614/the war college sooo much! Like...I keep calling vancouver my home, and i dont know if thats normal or not.

Well, and...my neice is going to the hospital..(pray please!). I found out a little while ago...Im planning to go see them on wednesday, and hopefully that can still happen!

Well, thats whats going on.

Courtney

I have officially fallen in love

I am in love with Vancouver and the Downtown eastside. And...i love being a part of 614 sooo much! Its something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Well...Sally and i went to Crab park yesterday and took some pictures. i thought I'd post them

Count your blessings

Are you ever burdened
With a load of care
Does the cross seem heavy
You are called to bear
Count your many blessings
Every doubt will fly
And you will be singing
As the days go by


Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your blessings
See what God has done
Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your many blessings
See what God has done


I was in church yesterday, and we sang count your blessings. We got to the second verse (which is the one I posted) and I was like...blown away.

Carrying other peoples burdens is something that I've struggled with for a long time.
I have come to the conclusion that its not a good thing. So over the last year or so I've decided that I can't do it anymore. But thats easy to say, but not easy to do. When my friends/family have struggles, my first instinct is to carry it for them, but see...it doesn't really work. All that causes is me being in pain, as well as them. I can't take the pain away from them. I've really been praying about it the last week or so. And then when we sang that in church yesterday like...I sorta had that feeling of just getting punched in the gut. Im realizing that the best way to help people who are hurting is to talk, pray and just be there.

But, where does "compassion" come in? (Sorry about the contradiction, it just came into my head and utterly confused me). Compassion means "to suffer with". doesn't that mean to experience the same pain? I still think that I shouldn't carry the burdens of others, but how do I have compassion without doing that?

Carried to the table

Wounded and forsaken
I was shattered by the fall
Broken and forgotten
Feeling lost and all alone
Summoned by the King
Into the Master’s courts
Lifted by the Savior
And cradled in His arms

I was carried to the table
Seated where I don’t belong
Carried to the table
Swept away by His love
And I don’t see my brokenness anymore
When I’m seated at the table of the Lord
I’m carried to the table
The table of the Lord

Fighting thoughts of fear
And wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup
This world has left me lame
Even in my weakness
The Savior called my name
In His Holy presence
I’m healed and unashamed

You carried me, my God
You carried me

Pick up your cross and follow me.

What does this phrase mean to you? Does it mean to say your a Christian and continue in a worldly fashion like a lot of "Christians" have done? I feel as if theres a lot of crazy perceptions of what this means. Theres no half way there. God doesn't want lukewarm Christians. He wants you to be either Hot or Cold. If your cold, be cold but don't pretend to be hot. If Your hot, thats great but make sure your really Hot. I think Pick up your cross and follow me means to let go of everything you have that may hinder your relationship with God. Even if it means giving up friends, Family, and/or comfort.


Pick up your cross.

If I fall

So Im doing a testimony tomorrow for an open air. And, I was thinking about what to say, then realized that people knowing that God will forgive them, and accept them no matter what, is probably a big thing for a lot of people, not just on the dtes but in life. And I started thinking about the song "If I fall" by amber pacific, and its a really good song. I've attached a video of it.

Word of the week: Unity

So, this week, there has been a huuuuge focus on Unity in the church. The church not only being the church over the world, but the individual churches, and church groups. Like...Unity in youth group, not juust "YA! everyone hanging out" but like..."Everyone hanging out in Christ". And same with our session. Theres been a huge focus on building each other so we can build up the church.

Well...Thats just some stuff.

Courtney

Life is good

I've been back in Vancouver for a week and 2 days. I miss my family, but I have felt so good. I had a day that wasnt too great yesterday, but other than that, its been really good. We've been very encouraging to each other, and since being home we've really worked on holding each other accountable for everything. Its been really good. My heart and soul feel really good also. We went to the Womens Centre on teusday and it was so awesome! The ladies were so welcoming and excited to have new people. We met a girl, named felicia, and she lives in West van, and she hangs out at the womens centre all the time, so i really want to try to build something up with her. She's around our age and she just seems like she needs people in her life.

And, I've had to fix our shower hose 4 times since being home, and it just broke for the 5th time...literally right as I was writing my blog. Haha i feel sorta like Mr. Rooter. i guess its part of the experience..

Well, thats about it.

I miss my sister.

I miss my sister a lot. Leash...when I come home for reading week....we should go on an adventure!