Courtneys spot

I know a fount

2010-08-11T13:46:00.000-07:00

Say, are you weary? Are you heavy-laden?
Burdened with sorrow, weighted down with care?
Are you in bondage? Do you want deliverance?
Come, then, with me, there is refuge from despair.
I know a fount where sins are washed away,
I know a place where night is turned to day;
Burdens are lifted, blind eyes made to see;
There’s a wonder-working power in the blood of Calvary.
Are you still doubting power to keep from sinning,
Power that can change the heart and make it new?
Are you still longing for a full salvation?
You may receive it and live a life that’s true.
Fettered and bound by chains of self-indulgence
Missing the blessings God on man bestows,
Seeking for joy but only sorrow finding?
Come to the waters where grace and mercy flow.
I know a fount where sins are washed away,
I know a place where night is turned to day;
Burdens are lifted, blind eyes made to see;
There’s a wonder-working power in the blood of Calvary.
Wondrous Deliverer! Sin-forgiving Saviour!
Cleanser of hearts! Unfailing Friend and Guide!
No one has ever trusted unavailing,
No one has claimed of His Love and been denied.
I know a fount where sins are washed away,
I know a place where night is turned to day;
Burdens are lifted, blind eyes made to see;
There’s a wonder-working power in the blood of Calvary.
I know a fount where sins are washed away,
I know a place where night is turned to day;
Burdens are lifted, blind eyes made to see;
There’s a wonder-working power in the blood of Calvary.

Community = blessings

2010-05-17T14:08:00.000-07:00

I would just really like to say how much I've been blessed by community lately.

Theres been a lot happening...there was a time of some mourning a couple days ago...but we mourned together, and in that the Joy of the Lord was present...and then just recently that time of mourning turned into a time of rejoicing...and we rejoiced as a community, and are continuing to rejoice.

Community is such a huge blessing.

A very close friend of mine said today "when I close my eyes, I see my friends" in reference to community. My prayer is that we will all be able to be happy and comforted when we close our eyes by the sight and feeling of being surrounded by people who we love and who love us back.

Be blessed by your community this week! And I urge you to bless others in your community.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound!

2010-04-13T19:38:00.000-07:00

This week...a beautiful woman has come to our community to get clean. This woman is so amazing! I have so much love for her. I've known her for a while...and she's just so beautiful. She's so loving and compassionate. She's taught me so much about what love is supposed to be.

For the last 4 days I've been sick with a cold. For the last 4 days, she's been detoxing...and I've been the whiney one...she's had such a great attitude and has been so great!

I see the Lord in her everytime I see her. He's pulled her out of a lot of crap...and he's healing her a lot. Healing from things that she's endured her whole life and its so beautiful!

The grace of God is a gift...recieve it!

He is risen...Hallelujah!

2010-04-04T08:17:00.000-07:00

1. Low in the grave he lay, Jesus my Savior,
waiting the coming day, Jesus my Lord!
Refrain:
Up from the grave he arose;
with a mighty triumph o'er his foes;
he arose a victor from the dark domain,
and he lives forever, with his saints to reign.
He arose! He arose! Hallelujah! Christ arose!

2. Vainly they watch his bed, Jesus my Savior,
vainly they seal the dead, Jesus my Lord!
(Refrain)

3. Death cannot keep its prey, Jesus my Savior;
he tore the bars away, Jesus my Lord!
(Refrain)

It's been a while

2010-03-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

So...since the last time I blogged...

I moved
I celebrated Christmas and new years
I got a new guitar
I had the best birthday I've had in a very long time
I've read all of the books paul wrote, Isaiah and Im currently reading Jeremiah
Broken relationships have been mended
I've admitted to the calling to officership (Yikes!)
I wrote a worship song

Ok so it doesn't sound like a lot...but I haven't blogged since October and I decided I didn't wanna let go of blogging...so here i am!

I live in Vancouver, and that makes me incredibly happy. I feel like it's home now. The mountains, the ocean, and the people just make me feel so happy and at home. I miss my family and friends back in Alberta though.

God has done amazing things in my life. It's amazing how things can change when you completely open your heart to the Lord. I highly suggest it. It will change you so much.

well...i dont know what else to say right now....so im gonna leave it there...but just know that God will transform you into something incredibly beautiful if you let him.

Love - What is it really?

2009-10-23T09:08:00.000-07:00

What do we see love as?

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can

Love is so much more! If you love someone...and they do something that makes you angry...whats the more loving thing to do? Hide it under the rug...or confront it?

If someone you Love is doing something you know they shouldn't be...what's the loving thing to do? Wait until they come to a realization themselves, or get caught...or pull them aside and tell them they're being stupid (usually in nicer terms than that)?

Love is being honest. It's doing what needs to be done for the Kingdom. If it means saying "Don't spend that money on drugs"...say it. Don't be afraid to say things out of love because then your just a coward. If it means saying "you're being an idiot right now"...as long as its from love, go for it. Love involves getting mad at a broken promise...not getting passive aggressive. Love is getting angry when someone you love is chained by addiction or prostitution, and doing anything you can to help them. Love is doing what you can to help. Love is yelling when you have to, crying when you have to, laughing when you have to and holding onto someone when you have to.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."

God is Love. Jesus is Love.

How are we showing love to our friends, neighbors, co-workers, classmates...how are we showing love to the body? How are we showing real love to the members of the body who we know aren't making good choices? How are we showing love? Are we sweeping it under the carpet?

prioritizing our lives

2009-09-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

I was at a conference called 'Unrelenting' this weekend. Nicole got up and talked a bit about the war room and what it was all about...and 24-7 prayer and stuff. And a guy got up and talked about how...we think about doing 3 hour prayer shifts, and think "we need an extra day in the week". And it totally resonated with me. Not just for prayer shifts...but for our daily walk with the Lord. We're Christians...but what are we offering to God? Yeah...we do the church activities...we serve in the church in various ways...but are we allowing the Lord to speak to us?

I got to thinking...if we "don't have time" to do half an hour or 45 minutes of devotions a day...where are we really at with the Lord? It's not necisarily the easiest thing...but maybe we need to cut down time with our boyfriends/girlfriends, our time on the internet, playing video games, spending crazy amounts of time on our hair/make-up everyday. You SAY you want to get closer to the Lord, but what are you DOING to make it happen?

I'm not saying this in a condeming way at all, because I struggle with it as well. But...I am saying this in a...we really need to focus on the Lord. Really spend time with the Lord. If you give something up...maybe video games, internet, or tv...for a week...and you spend that extra time reading your bible, praying, worshiping, listening to the Lord...I can almost guarantee that those things will become less important...and it will help change your priorities.

Walking with the Lord is to walk WITH...he's not gonna carry you through your life...you have to make an effort at this.

Glory to God,
Courtney

The vision

2009-09-26T10:35:00.000-07:00

So....I was in the car with Nicole yesterday...and she played this. And I was blown away. Speechless. The only thing I could do was like...cry out...and like...just sit there with my jaw dropped. Amazing.

The vision THE VISION So this guy comes up to me and says "what's the vision? What's the big idea?" I open my mouth and words come out like this… The vision? The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus. The vision is an army of young people. You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism. They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.They wouldn't even notice.They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport.. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.What is the vision ?The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure. Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games. This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.A million times a day its soldiers choose to loosethat they might one day winthe great 'Well done' of faithful sons and daughters. Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!" And this is the sound of the undergroundThe whisper of history in the makingFoundations shakingRevolutionaries dreaming once againMystery is scheming in whispersConspiracy is breathing…This is the sound of the underground. And the army is discipl(in)ed. Young people who beat their bodies into submission. Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tattoo on their back boasts "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain". Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ? Can hormones hold them back?Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them ? And the generation prays like a dying manwith groans beyond talking,with warrior cries, sulphuric tears andwith great barrow loads of laughter!Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365. Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries. They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside. On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide. Would they surrender their image or their popularity? They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair. With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them. Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.Don't you hear them coming? Herald the weirdo's! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden. And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner. Guaranteed.

Dead and Gone

2009-09-20T09:31:00.001-07:00

Nicole and I were listening to this song the other day and talking about how its a song of such redemption! The chorus is just so great. "The old me is dead and gone" is so awesome! It totally goes along with the "life and death" theme we had at RAW in march. Die to yourself, and live for Christ...and this song seriously resembles that. Death to what you were and becoming transformed into "a new person"

Take a listen!

Freedom for the captives

2009-08-24T20:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I went to Tehillah monday, and was really struggling at first, I actually almost left because I just wasnt feeling anything at all. But I decided to stay for a bit...and they did a talk about an aids run, and then did another one about healing and freedom...and I started thinking about Leighanne. And broke down. I just started weeping and praying for freedom and healing for her. This went on for a while...and then I left and just felt the Lord saying to go to the reservoir. So I drove to the reservoir and got out of the car and booked it down to where the water was...and I didnt know what I was doing there, all I knew is that I needed to be there...then I picked up rocks...little ones to start with, and started throwing them into the water, and each one symbolized a physical mark on her body...somewhere a prick from where she stuck a needle, the burst vein in her leg, her sores, etc. as the rocks got bigger, the reasons got bigger too. Eventually, big rocks got thrown in symbolizing Aids, Cancer, Addiction, etc. Then, I finished by building a rock sculpture thing and proclaiming it to represent new life in Leighanne. Then I drove to another area of the reservoir where you can sit in your car and look over the water, and I played the song "shout unto God" really loudly...and just yelling the words at the top of my lungs for Leighanne. I left feeling so much hope. It was a beautiful moment.

I love Leighanne so much.

Celebrate and rejoice!

2009-08-21T00:12:00.000-07:00

Today, Leighanne celebrated her official 38th birthday! I'm so happy that I got to rejoice in this day with her. She's a beautiful Woman!

Today was also our War College graduation. Kind of a bittersweet event. I cried...a lot. My first real crying moment was looking at Leighanne as we were getting our certificates and stuff...because she was crying a lot. Then I stood up to give my testimony of what I conquered this year and broke down. I got prayed for by leadership, then went over to Leighanne and just cried on her shoulder for a long time. She told me the most beautiful thing. She told me that she blessed me in any choice I make and anywhere I go and that she'll miss me, but she's proud of me. And if you know Leighanne at all, you'll know that that is a pretty big thing for her to say. I just love her so much.

Conquerors session '08/'09

Oh! it is love

2009-08-18T22:11:00.000-07:00

So….Im just gonna be straight up. It hit me today that War College is done in a couple days. Do you realize how scary that is? I go home on Sunday and then on to Chicago. My mind keeps thinking that I’m only gonna be away from Vancouver and 614 for a short time, like…a break…or summer assignment, and then I’ll be back but thus far that’s not in the plans. And that makes me very sad. About 4 hours ago my heart filled with great sadness. I know that the Lord has great things in store for me…but I don’t want to have to say good-bye. I just love everyone here so much, and my love has grown so much as well in the last little while. I’ve never been good at good-byes....but I feel like this is harder than the typical good-byes that I’ve had to say before. I had a conversation with a friend of mine today about how I cover stuff up with humor…and I do that too often. I literally sat here and thought about something funny to say…but then realized…I cant do that….because Im sitting here listening to my “sad-sies” playlist on itunes with a very sad feeling in my heart…so funny shouldn’t be something on my mind right now.

To all of 614 and war college who is reading this. I love you all. You have helped the Lord make me stronger in many ways and you have shown me a lot about the body of Christ, and shown me a lot of support in a lot of different areas.

Thank you.

Bootsma!

2009-08-04T12:50:00.000-07:00

So it's been a while since I blogged last, and Im not actually sure if anyone actually reads this...so I dont know if it matters haha.

I'm still in Blue Island/Chicago and loving every minute of it! I'm actually working on a visa to come back for the year.

I've been incredibly inspired since being here. The youth in this division are so connected and United in Christ. Its beautiful! Whenever I'm in a worship setting with the youth in the division its something I've never seen before. It's something that brings me to tears every time, and I can't even really begin to describe it. The youth are genuinely concerned about everyones spiritual well being and its a beautiful thing. They hold each other accountable, and do what they can to help each other remain on a righteous path.

My heart bursts for joy because i know that I am never without the Lord and I wish everyone could feel the same way. The Lord is in my relationships. its beautiful! I'm becoming more bold because of it. Boldness is something I yearn for.

Let Justice Roll.

I see a generation rising up to take its place

2009-06-25T09:41:00.000-07:00

The church, in general, has been lazy...for quite a while now. I strongly believe that THIS generation can be the generation to put a stop to that! If we rise up...if we stop caring about what the world is thinking about us and start caring about what the Lord is thinking about us...then we can make a change.

We have to be United in order to make a change. We have to be able to pray together, to worship together without judging each other, we have to be willing to be honest with each other. If we see someone doing something that isn't representing God in a good way, we have to be willing to step up and say "hey...what are you doing?" We're too afraid that people will be angry with us or that they'll judge us. We need to get rid of our pride and think about the Kingdom of God.

We need to know that we are saved. If you are unsure of your Salvation, if it actually exists, you're probably not saved. You should get on that...but only if you mean it!

To quote Katy Perry "You're Hot, then you're cold, you're yes, then you're no, you're in then you're out, you're up then you're down"...to be a Christian (yes I know that this is not what the song is talking about) you can't be in between. You cant bounce between Hot and Cold, you are not in THEN out, you're in OR out. Your Hot OR cold. Theres no in between. If you're in this, then you're in this...you have to be willing to make sacrifices and give things, and quite possibly, give people up. Peers are often what holds us back from true Salvation.

Lets rise up!

2009-06-12T13:50:00.000-07:00

This past week has been pretty crazy! Great! But crazy. I'm going to Chicago for the summer! Thats exciting! Im really excited for it...but not so excited about having to leave everyone here. But we spent a lot of time over last weekend with community and stuff...and had Albertas Birthday party!!

We went to Rivendell for the week. Its a retreat centre on bowen Island and you have to walk up a small mountain to get to it haha. But it was amazing! I was able to give up a lot of the burdens I've been carrying around this year which felt sooo good! One of the coolest things for me, though, was that I was able to climb a couple hills...like...mountain faces almost. That is something that I used to love doing...and have had a desire to do for so long but was always too scared of what could have happened...but one day I was just like...Im gonna climb that hill...and realized once I got to the top that I wasnt scared at all. I was completely fine. I went again the next day...I've got a couple cuts on my legs and hands but I loved it a lot. Something inside of me was released this week..something really good.

Well...I gotta finish packing now!

It's time to rise up!

2009-06-01T21:53:00.001-07:00

Lately, I’ve been praying a lot for the youth back home in Alberta. I really just want to see a revolutionary change within them! I’ve come to the realization lately, that our generation, whether we like it our not, is lazy when it comes to our relationships with Christ. If we’re lazy in our relationships, we are not going to do a good job at what we are called to do, make disciples of all men. If we are not being disciples ourselves, its basically impossible for us to make disciples of others. It’s not just the youth in Alberta, no one is being singled out…It’s the youth all over, but the Lord has just placed the youth in AB on my heart so I’ve been praying pretty intensely for them. I really believe that if the youth in one area (Alberta, for instance) rise up in Christ, start living lives that are full on for Christ, become united with each other, hold each other accountable, etc. youth in other denominations and other Provinces and other countries will be encouraged to do the same.

In the song “Hosanna” by Hillsong united, one of the lines says “I see a generation, rising up to take their place. We’re on our knees, we’re on our knees” and today, I was praying and I sat down at the piano and literally played that line over and over again for like…10 minutes just praying that this generation would be the one to rise up! I want to see a revival in our generation!

I used to be of the belief that “we’re young; we can’t do anything to change the world.” Or “no one will listen to us” but DUDE! We don’t need to be LISTENED to…we need to be observed. If we’re walking in a way that is wholly devoted to Christ, and we are trying our hardest to lead a sinless life, then people will see that, and will be encouraged by it!

My encouragement to you, whoever is reading this right now, whether your from Alberta or not, is to look inside of yourself. Are you full on for Christ? Are you striving for Holiness and sanctification? When William Booth, the founder of the Salvation Army, was 15 years old, he spoke the words “God shall have all there is of William Booth”…I think we should all look at that as an encouragement, not because it was William Booth and we should all do what he did, because we’re individuals, but because he spoke extremely powerful words at a young age. We should be giving God all there is of us. If you are leading a double life, if you are doing anything that isn’t pleasing to God…confess them! Turn to Christ! Be in a full state of repentance!

The Lord loves his people and he seriously desires for his people to love him back and show that they love him!

Amazing Grace

2009-05-29T08:28:00.000-07:00

A year ago, I never thought I’d be standing on a street corner singing “Amazing Grace” and “What a mighty God we serve” with a guitar and a group of amazing people and be brought to tears. Well…that is what happened last night. We had an open air on the corner of Main and Hastings and it was beautiful. So many people came and joined us, the Spirit of the Lord was there and it was powerful. People who were passing by were drawn in and heard the word of the Lord, people who were driving by stopped at the red lights with their windows rolled down just so they could hear us…it was truly an amazing event.

Some people say it’s impossible to see beauty in the downtown eastside. But I think it’s impossible to NOT see beauty if you actually WANT to see it.

Amazing Grace is a song that I have heard my whole life, and it’s just been a song, I’ve never really thought about the words until the last couple of months. The Lords grace is so amazing that he saved us from the damnation of Hell! “I was once was lost, but now I’m found. Was blind but now I see.” That line is so beautiful! The Lord desires for us to be with him! He searches for us in hopes that we will return to him. How often do we reject him, and he still has Amazing Grace for us.

Well…that’s my thought for now.

It is well with my soul!

2009-05-21T21:50:00.000-07:00

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

We sang this song at knee drill tonight. I was praying and singing along when I realized...for the first time in my entire life, I can truly say I know for sure that it IS well with my soul. I was praying for a specific group of people, that they would know for certain what was going to happen with their soul when they die, or that they knew for sure that Christ was coming to take them home when he comes back. And i realized, those 2 things don't really freak me out anymore. I used to get scared when I'd think of death and the 2nd coming to the point of losing breath over it...I had faith in Christ and I believe I had salvation, but occasionally had doubts...slowly over the last few years those feelings and thoughts slowly started fading and I realized tonight Im not completely freaked anymore. I think it's normal to be a little bit nervous about them because it's our natural tendancy to be nervous of the things we don't really know the exact timing of.

I really want anyone who reads this to look at your life. How is it in your soul? Does the fact the Yahweh Bore your sin on Calvary bring you a feeling of complete joy, yet complete sorrow that he suffered that pain for your sake? He took on our crap so that we wouldn't have to carry those things anymore. Are you allowing Christ to do what he wants to do in your life or are you still in control of parts of your life? Submit wholly to Christ and the things he has for you. Some stuff that he tells you to do may suck in the moment but ultimately it's the best thing for you.

Listen to what he has to say to you!

Sorry this post is so random...

Doctrine 8 question - How do you know you're saved?

2009-05-15T07:30:00.000-07:00

We believe that we are justified by grace through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and that he that believeth hath the witness in himself.

You questionably know you are saved. If you're questioning your own personal Salvation, you're most likely not saved.

The bible shows that the prophets, apostles, and saints knew that they were saved. Job knew that "his redeemer lived" and enoch knew that he pleased God. Nothing in the bible is more evident than those holy people acted, fought, and suffered under the fullest conviction that they were the children and servants of the most high God.

1 John 3:19
It is by our actions that we know we are living in the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before the Lord.

Common sense says that you can't be forgiven, be made a new creature, Love God with all your heart, give up living a selfish life, have a heart washed from sin, consecrate yourself to saving souls, and altogether live such i christ-like life as we are called to live as followers of Christ, but be in doubt of your salvation.

You know when you're living a converted life!

He hates things that before he loved,
He loves things that before he hated.

Romans 12

2009-05-10T15:47:00.000-07:00

Romans 12
Living Sacrifices
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[b]faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

Love
9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.

17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"[d]says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."[e] 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

I love Romans 12! I was reading it last night with my friends Leighanne and Lane at Recre8 and it started such a great conversation. Lane was talking about how he's a born again Christian...and he just wants to see the Lord reign on the downtown eastside and it was awesome. And after reading romans 12, a guy that Leighanne isnt all the crazy about came in and she was about to start yelling at him...and I was like...hey...what did we just read. And her response was beautiful. "If I give my anger to God, he'll take care of them" haha then she was like "Ya hear that! Jesus' will kick you butt so I dont have to!" Haha...it was funny. Romans 12 has just been really on my mind lately...so i thought i'd say why.

Life and death

2009-04-28T18:33:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a beautiful weekend. On saturday, I attended a memorial for an aborted baby, which was beautiful to see the mother of the child working past the guilt and shame she was feeling for having an abortion. She named the baby and prior to the memorial, through listening prayer she was able to hold her baby and then place him in Jesus' arms so she could see that he was safe. It was a beautiful memorial. Then the next day we celebrated her birthday, which was also great! It was a great weekend to celebrate life.

As we were at the baby memorial, we sang Amazing Grace and i looked at my friend, the mother, and started to cry because I just saw the Lords amazing grace in her life, and I saw her being able to accept that grace now and it was truly great!

The Lords love and grace has amazed me recently. Like...the atonement. It happened so we could be at one with Christ...hense..AT-ONEment. If it wasnt for the atonement, where would we be? What kind of situation would we, as the church, be in? Well...I dont even think there would be a Christian church. The Lord has done great things for us and we don't even recognize it!

Paul says 'if we have Salvation through the atonement, should we keep on sinning?' (not a direct quote!) Umm...nope! We shouldn't. In hebrews 10:26, 27 it says

If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.

Therefore, if we acknowledge that Christ has atoned for our sins, we cannot just say...well...Im saved, Im come into Salvation, so...I can just go on with my worldy life. It doesnt work that way! If we acknowledge christ and then continue sinning, we will have eternal judgement.

This is what has been going through my head recently.

Glory to God

2009-04-22T14:53:00.000-07:00

2 Timothy 2:22

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

We were in the gardening again today. We prayed this verse in the garden. I've decided that Wednesday morning gardening is one of my favorite things at the moment. It's great! My favorite part is weeding, and pulling the weeds. Often times, I use that time to reflect on how it's like sin. Sometimes, you get weeds that have really short roots, and are really easy to pull out, and other times you have weeds that have been growing for a really long time and you need to use a shovel and dig them out, and it takes a lot of work. Sometimes we have sins that are keeping us from growing into the beautiful person that the Lord desires us to be. Sometimes the sins are really small and if you recognize them, they're pretty easy to get rid of, and other times we've been doing the same sin for so long, sometimes not realizing it was a sin and other times knowing full well that it was a sin and just choosing to ignore it, and then we see the light and feel the need to change, it takes a lot of work to get it out. But we have to make sure we're willing to put in whatever effort it takes to get rid of those weeds in our lives. We need to see what and where the weeds are in our lives so that we can cleanse ourselves of them and make ourselves the beautiful people that the Lord desires us to be.

Side note: Dominic and Noah came to the garden about halfway through. It was really great.One of my favorite parts was, Dominic came over to me and asked if he could help, so I gave him my little shovel thing and he was trying so hard to dig up the weeds...It was so awesome. Then he'd get some weeds up and throw them into the wheel barrow where we were throwing them and he'd get so excited that he was helping. And he and Noah were the "scarecrows" chasing after all the pigeons that came into the garden. Theres just something about gardening and seeing all the plantlife and stuff thats growing and having kids around thats a real special thing.

Thats my reflection on todays gardening.

4 months...

2009-04-17T09:47:00.000-07:00

Oh man...I came to the realization last night that we only have 4 months of War College left. 4 months! 2 of that is on summer assignment, so we only have 2 months left in Vancouver! Thats a scary, yet exciting, thought. It's been a great 8 months. Lots of tears, lots of laughs, lots of meltdowns but a crazy amount of support through it all. It's been an amazing time so far...Im excited to see what the Lord has in store for the next 4 months, and beyond.

I reconnected with a friend this week. A friend that I've had my struggles with and cried some tears over, but I've grown and from the sounds of things, she has too. The Lord has really been talking to me about forgiveness and how I can't move past the point Im at right now if Im holding a grudge. I've really been focusing on forgiving those who have wronged me in the past, and also focusing on not making myself the victim in those situations, and in situations that are going to come my way. Instead of making it all their fault, also finding the things I could have done better to prevent things because in every altercation there are at least 2 people involved and 2 people at fault for at least some of it.

I've been continuing to run at 6 14 in the morning with chub club. Lately it's just been Nicole and I, but it's been really cool to hang out with her in that way...and I've noticed my self-esteem has been boosted a bit more since I started running, which is cool. It's also a cool way to connect with the Lord. When i run in Crab park and I look and see the mountains and stuff its just so beautiful.

The Lord has really been speaking to me about humility and being humble in the things that I do. Im in the process right now of searching for areas in myself where I may be prideful or areas that Im just not humble enough in. It's a really hard thing to have to come to terms with when you realize your being prideful in areas of your life, but after you've found it, caught a hold of it and let it go its sooo much better!

Well, thats about it!

Courtney

P.S the Lord has also been speaking to me about life, and this is a representation of life in the DTES, where a lot of people only see death.

On my mind

2009-04-09T08:26:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about a lot lately.

I've been praying a lot for the church as a whole. And about how as a whole, we're not really rising up to what the Lord has called us to in the word. There are pockets of the church who are and certain denomonations who are, but the entire Christian Church should be rising up to what he desires us to do. There are so many churches that just sit in their church buildings on sundays, and during the week if they have weekly programs, but what do they do outside of the church? What do they do to bring people into the church and to introduce them to the Lord? The Lord has called us to get people saved and as a whole, we're being lazy about it.

It's not just todays church either, its been happening forever. There are records of this in the Word as well. I apologize if this sounds harsh but it's just what the Lord has put on my heart recently.

Also...we were in the garden yesterday. I really like life. I like seeing new life. Living here is really hard when a lot of what you see and hear about is death, spiritual death and physical death. But there is life! There is life everywhere, it's just harder to see because sometimes its burried by death. The Garden is a beautiful representation of life. There isn't a whole lot that has sprouted yet, but it's still a beautiful place. It's great.

God is great and he has great plans for the world and for everyone in the world.

2 Corinthians 5

2009-04-07T17:14:00.001-07:00

I wrote this early one morning, I hope it makes sense.

Oh man. There is so much stuff in 2 Corinthians 5. It’s packed with stuff! It’s definitely a chapter where you need to be able to focus. If you don’t fully focus you won’t pick out a lot of stuff. I was tired the first time I read it, so I’m going to try to read it more and more and see what I pick out each time.

It talks about a lot of different things. The first thing I picked out was that all of our possessions on earth are going to fade away. It says that the earthly tent we live in will be destroyed, but we have a building from God, and eternal house in heaven, that wasn’t built by human hands. When the Lord comes back, all of our stuff will no longer be with us, but we’ll be beyond satisfied with the things we have in heaven. I think this verse is an encouragement to really be who we say we are, and really be followers of Christ. Christ wouldn’t live his life for the stuff he can store up, but rather the people he can get saved for the betterment of the kingdom.

It talks about how we should “walk by faith, not by sight”. We hear this a lot, but what do we really think of it? What do we really hear when we hear that verse? I didn’t see Jesus raise from the dead, but I know he did. I have faith in the word of the Lord and trust that that is what happened. I can’t see the physical body of Christ from where I’m sitting right now, but I can know he’s here with me. He never leaves me.

“Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others” – We need to earnestly and actively seek the Lord, and yearn for his fear to be in us. It doesn’t just naturally come to us so we can deliver it to others. We need to go deeper with the Lord and know how to properly evangelize so that there will be only truth in the world when it comes to the kingdom, and the Lord.

Affirmation is where its at

2009-04-04T09:31:00.000-07:00

I've recently decided that one of my love languages is words of affirmation. I used to say I didnt care what people said to me...but I'm realizing that isnt true. I really love being affirmed. Yesterday, 4 people gave me words of affirmation in completely unrelated situations, and I felt so happy all day, so I guess its a good thing.

Thats pretty much all I have to say right now...

So its been a week

2009-03-27T09:36:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in a week...its been a weird week. last friday at recre8 Leighanne had a bit of a freak out...she was on some bad drugs and got pretty aggressive, so we had to Bar her for a month. It was pretty intense. But the thing is, she left too quickly and we couldnt actually tell her she was barred. So we went to see her on teusday night...twice and she didnt answer the door either time. Then Nicole and I went I went to her hotel and werent permitted up, so we left a note. Then...we went to Insight to leave a note. That was interesting. It wasnt open yet by the time we got there...and there were people standing outside just waiting to get in. It was like kids waiting to get into a candy shop...at first I thought it was kinda funny, but then I was like...Wait..not so funny. Their Candy is drugs. They are waiting to get in to get drugs. It just made me so sad.

But anyways, back to Leighanne. I saw her randomly as I was coming out of Carnegie...and so I went to talk to her. I was waiting for her to just walk away because she hated us last friday. But she came up and gave me a hug. Told me she helped deliver a baby in her room the night before *Awkward*. Then I was like...we need to talk about what happened at recre8. And she was like..."How long until I can come back?" and I told her a month and she was so apologetic, but so understanding. She was like..."I'll apologize to everyone." then i told her I'd let her know the day she can come back. She was so great. She wants to get into detox, which she says often, but I want to try to get her in and see if she's being serious about it this time.

Anyways, thats basically been my week.

God is Just

2009-03-19T06:45:00.000-07:00

My friend is dying of cancer and aids

But God is still Just

My friends dad is going to Prison

But God is still Just

There are women being exploited, and they think its empowering to them

But God is still Just

There are friends shooting other friends up while they're passed out

But God is still Just

There are people dying all around me

But God is still Just

God is a Just God. The song God of Justice has been really big for me the last couple of days. When it says "we must go, live to feed the hungry, stand beside the broken, we must go. Stepping forward, keep us from just singing. Move us into action, we must Go". Yesterday, I was sitting in a session at RAW with Leighanne, and the speaker, Rochelle McAlister (who was an amazing speaker...PS) mention how the Average age expectancy of death in Canada is 80.4. When she said that, Leighanne looked at me and burst into tears and so I sat with her for quite a while just holding her while she cried. It was a beautiful moment, but heartbreaking at the exact same time.

God is Just, even if the world is not.

How Marvelous

2009-03-14T16:47:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been weird. Thursday I was kind of in a weird mood all day, then we got to knee drill and the spirit just came over me in an amazing way. We were singing "Exalted" by Chris tomlin and it was just an amazing moment for me.

Then yesterday, I got locked out of my room...so I went to Crab park and just stood on the beach..ish area and How Marvelous came on my ipod and I started crying...again..I beautiful moment. I was looking and seeing the ocean and the mountains...and like...it was just such a God moment. It was fantastic.

I feel like God is wanting to have a more intimate relationship with me...and im so excited for it!

On a side note...I really just love 614 a lot. I love the community. I just really love it.

Sad-sies

2009-03-10T18:56:00.000-07:00

I'm just having a sad day.

I walked passed a man shooting up in his thigh with his pants down

I spent 15 dollars on 4 gluten free groceries

I threw up 5 times after eating one of the gluten free items

I tried to sleep but the mice woke me up cause they were fighting

I just feel sad today

wow

2009-03-04T12:45:00.000-08:00

So quite a bit of stuff has happened in the last 5 days. I haven't really felt like blogging cause I dont really know what to say. I've been in the war room (prayer room) 4 times in the last 3 days praying about a whole bunch of stuff, for other people and also for myself, for revelation for myself.

I love 614. I think the community life is beautiful. I love being held accountable to things...and i love living on the dtes. There is so much glory and beauty in the DTES. I love it soooo much!

Thats about all Im gonna say right now.

The lord is working

2009-02-27T21:34:00.000-08:00

So, we had recre8 tonight. And first of all...the set up of it was awesome! We did Karaoke for about half an hour of it. But really...thats not best part, surprisingly!

My friend came in and told me she was moving out because her common law partner is in Jail for the 2nd time that I know of for abuse against her. So, she's looking to move out before he gets out of Jail. So i took her up to grace mansions to do the whole application thing, and we're going to try to find a temporary place until she hears from them.

Then, Our friend leighanne came in and she was like and told me she needed to talk to me. She had tears in her eyes. So we went into the classroom and talked and she just started crying so much! And she told us that she felt alone because she didn't have God in her life and she didn't want that to be the case. She doesn't want the devil to have victory in her. She wants to be clean again! Praise the Lord! She's so beautiful, I love her with my whole heart! I want her to be clean so badly! She's coming to camp with us in May...and she got really excited.

Well...I just wanted to say that the Lord is moving in the Downtown Eastside.

LOVE!

2009-02-23T09:47:00.000-08:00

Today, in pray the bible, we prayed from Hosea. God totally spoke to me through it! He was talking to me about Love. Real love, not superficial love that we tend to show. But truly loving is something that is not easy to do. It's easy to love those that are easy to love and who love you back. But, we should have the same love for them that we have for those who are "the least of these". The people who do not feel loved should be loved by the church, shouldn't they? The church should love them like we love the other members of the church.

Just what was on my mind!

Change

2009-02-17T12:47:00.000-08:00

So much has changed since I left for vancouver! New furniture...new movies...theres an elevator in my corps...which is soo weird! There are new youth leaders, theres just so much change. But I think its good change...especially in relation to my corps. Theres a lot of good sprouting up...some of that good is from these changes, but like...new bibles and an elevator is not going to produce fruit in a church but there is fruit in our corps. I can see it.

There has also been a lot of Change within myself.I didn't think I had changed at all by the time Christmas rolled around and I was really starting to get discouraged, but the last couple weeks has been a time of reflecting back over the last 5 months and oh wow...I have changed so much! I've grown so much in my relationship with the Lord. I've also grown as a person as well. I always used to think that if I was friends with someone who was even a year or so older than me then I was the young one who didnt have anything to offer in the relationship...but that has totally changed in the last little while. I feel as if I can actually offer stuff to relationships. I feel like I can truly help when others are struggling with stuff.

Well...thats me...thats what I've been thinking about lately.

mixed emotions

2009-02-16T10:56:00.000-08:00

Ok, so heres the thing. Im home in Calgary right now...and Im having an awesome time. My best friend is here, we hung out with a bunch of camp people yesterday, went to peters drive-in and got a milkshake (of course). But like...I miss 614/the war college sooo much! Like...I keep calling vancouver my home, and i dont know if thats normal or not.

Well, and...my neice is going to the hospital..(pray please!). I found out a little while ago...Im planning to go see them on wednesday, and hopefully that can still happen!

Well, thats whats going on.

Courtney

I have officially fallen in love

2009-02-13T09:01:00.000-08:00

I am in love with Vancouver and the Downtown eastside. And...i love being a part of 614 sooo much! Its something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Well...Sally and i went to Crab park yesterday and took some pictures. i thought I'd post them

Count your blessings

2009-02-09T08:08:00.000-08:00

Are you ever burdened
With a load of care
Does the cross seem heavy
You are called to bear
Count your many blessings
Every doubt will fly
And you will be singing
As the days go by

Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your blessings
See what God has done
Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your many blessings
See what God has done

I was in church yesterday, and we sang count your blessings. We got to the second verse (which is the one I posted) and I was like...blown away.

Carrying other peoples burdens is something that I've struggled with for a long time.
I have come to the conclusion that its not a good thing. So over the last year or so I've decided that I can't do it anymore. But thats easy to say, but not easy to do. When my friends/family have struggles, my first instinct is to carry it for them, but see...it doesn't really work. All that causes is me being in pain, as well as them. I can't take the pain away from them. I've really been praying about it the last week or so. And then when we sang that in church yesterday like...I sorta had that feeling of just getting punched in the gut. Im realizing that the best way to help people who are hurting is to talk, pray and just be there.

But, where does "compassion" come in? (Sorry about the contradiction, it just came into my head and utterly confused me). Compassion means "to suffer with". doesn't that mean to experience the same pain? I still think that I shouldn't carry the burdens of others, but how do I have compassion without doing that?

Carried to the table

2009-02-07T19:00:00.000-08:00

Wounded and forsaken
I was shattered by the fall
Broken and forgotten
Feeling lost and all alone
Summoned by the King
Into the Master’s courts
Lifted by the Savior
And cradled in His arms

I was carried to the table
Seated where I don’t belong
Carried to the table
Swept away by His love
And I don’t see my brokenness anymore
When I’m seated at the table of the Lord
I’m carried to the table
The table of the Lord

Fighting thoughts of fear
And wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup
This world has left me lame
Even in my weakness
The Savior called my name
In His Holy presence
I’m healed and unashamed

You carried me, my God
You carried me

Pick up your cross and follow me.

2009-01-31T07:36:00.000-08:00

What does this phrase mean to you? Does it mean to say your a Christian and continue in a worldly fashion like a lot of "Christians" have done? I feel as if theres a lot of crazy perceptions of what this means. Theres no half way there. God doesn't want lukewarm Christians. He wants you to be either Hot or Cold. If your cold, be cold but don't pretend to be hot. If Your hot, thats great but make sure your really Hot. I think Pick up your cross and follow me means to let go of everything you have that may hinder your relationship with God. Even if it means giving up friends, Family, and/or comfort.

Pick up your cross.

If I fall

2009-01-28T21:20:00.000-08:00

So Im doing a testimony tomorrow for an open air. And, I was thinking about what to say, then realized that people knowing that God will forgive them, and accept them no matter what, is probably a big thing for a lot of people, not just on the dtes but in life. And I started thinking about the song "If I fall" by amber pacific, and its a really good song. I've attached a video of it.

Word of the week: Unity

2009-01-25T17:35:00.000-08:00

So, this week, there has been a huuuuge focus on Unity in the church. The church not only being the church over the world, but the individual churches, and church groups. Like...Unity in youth group, not juust "YA! everyone hanging out" but like..."Everyone hanging out in Christ". And same with our session. Theres been a huge focus on building each other so we can build up the church.

Well...Thats just some stuff.

Courtney

Life is good

2009-01-15T14:50:00.000-08:00

I've been back in Vancouver for a week and 2 days. I miss my family, but I have felt so good. I had a day that wasnt too great yesterday, but other than that, its been really good. We've been very encouraging to each other, and since being home we've really worked on holding each other accountable for everything. Its been really good. My heart and soul feel really good also. We went to the Womens Centre on teusday and it was so awesome! The ladies were so welcoming and excited to have new people. We met a girl, named felicia, and she lives in West van, and she hangs out at the womens centre all the time, so i really want to try to build something up with her. She's around our age and she just seems like she needs people in her life.

And, I've had to fix our shower hose 4 times since being home, and it just broke for the 5th time...literally right as I was writing my blog. Haha i feel sorta like Mr. Rooter. i guess its part of the experience..

Well, thats about it.

I miss my sister.

2009-01-08T12:26:00.001-08:00

I miss my sister a lot. Leash...when I come home for reading week....we should go on an adventure!

Family times

2008-12-31T15:05:00.000-08:00

I've been at home for a week now....and I've got to see a lot of family...and friends that are like family. I have a few pics/vids that I'd show.

Christmas is here!

2008-12-25T19:09:00.000-08:00

Its Christmas day! i tried to post twice yesterday and both times failed...so lets try this thing again.

I've been home for like...30 hours. I got home yesterday at 2, came home...SHOWERED!!! then got dressed for church, went to church, found out Im doing a short talk on TWC on sunday, went to my brothers house to see him and his fiance, then went to the house of a couple from our church for a bit, came home and went to bed. Then it was Christmas. Oh me oh my its Christmas. Its exciting! I got an ipod, which is exciting, but really, Im just extremely glad to see my family. and to see some of my friends in a few days. I miss the community in Vancouver though. Well...thats all for now. I will blog a bit later!

1 freakin week!!!

2008-12-17T09:28:00.000-08:00

So....its pretty much one week till I go home...a week and a day till Christmas day.

Heres a clip of rudolph...haha ;)

Christmas...2 weeks...

2008-12-10T09:22:00.000-08:00

14 days till I fly home....15 days till Christmas!!!

now...a clip...if you think its cheesy cause its full house...well...thats your loss haha.

3 weeks!!

2008-12-03T09:24:00.000-08:00

22 days till Christmas! I get to see my family soon!!!!!

I love the movie elf...and because of my love of it...here ya go!!!

4 weeks!!!

2008-11-26T08:39:00.001-08:00

Christmas is only a month away! Heres the last video of the Christmas Carol, maybe the grinch will be next...maybe not.....you'll have to wait and see!!

I also thought I'd post some pictures of christmas stuff in the downtown eastside.

Dashing through the snow....I mean rain

2008-11-19T09:50:00.000-08:00

So, I miss snow. And my family. I come home in 5 weeks from today!!! Christmas eve!

5 weeks!!!!

So I'll actually give you a small update on things in my life this time. Im sick right now, but I just got a flu and Pneumonia shot for free. So maybe that will help.

We're starting kettles this weekend! Its gonna be good I'd say, stressful I think, but good. Hmmmm....I started watching gilmore girls on weekends and I fell in love with it all over again.

well I cant really think of much else to say...so Im gonna go!

2008-11-12T18:20:00.000-08:00

6 weeks!!! we're getting closer! I'd just like to clarify...Im not really excited for the gifts, santa, etc. but more for spending time with family and friends.

Christmas is on its way still!

2008-11-05T08:41:00.000-08:00

7 weeks till Christmas! Its getting soo close!!!

8 weeks!!

2008-10-29T08:33:00.000-07:00

8 weeks till Christmas!

I heard this song last night and I thought it was cute. Enjoy!

Christmas is coming!!

2008-10-22T12:28:00.000-07:00

Christmas is only 9 weeks away!!

Im sooo excited for it!

Are YOU washed?

2008-10-14T13:19:00.001-07:00

Im doing a deliverance prayer station for the prayer room at Youth Councils this weekend. This song came to mind.

Have you been to Jesus for the cleansing power?
Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?
Are you fully trusting in His grace this hour?
Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?
Are you washed in the blood,
In the soul cleansing blood of the Lamb?
Are your garments spotless? Are they white as snow?
Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?
Are you walking daily by the Savior’s side?
Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?
Do you rest each moment in the Crucified?
Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?
When the Bridegroom cometh will your robes be white?
Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?
Will your soul be ready for the mansions bright,
And be washed in the blood of the Lamb?
Lay aside the garments that are stained with sin,
And be washed in the blood of the Lamb;
There’s a fountain flowing for the soul unclean,
O be washed in the blood of the Lamb!

Hello, Celebrity savings, how can I get you saved?

2008-10-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

So last night, I had a dream that we saved mary-kate and Ashley Olsen. So Caitlyn and I decided to start saving celebritys. And we'll call it Celebrity Savings of Jesus Christ.

Thats my news.

Worship

2008-10-11T13:35:00.000-07:00

So one thing I've noticed is, in the last year or so, I've really struggled worshiping with all I have. I'd give my "all" for one song and then I'd just sing and kinda stand still. When I was at the Building a House of Prayer conference in Kelowna last weekend, there was something in me that just kind of...released. We watched the Passion of the Christ between sessions, then that night I was able to just release. and like...sometimes I'll stand still, but it wont be the "umm...this is enough worship, I just wanna sit down" kind of standing its like the..."Im so consumed right now that I just don't want to move, i just want to let it soak in" and its awesome! It feels so nice to be able to worship freely, without something hanging over my head.

the truth isn't sexy

2008-10-09T16:08:00.000-07:00

Check out the new website for the Salvation Army Campaign against Human Trafficking.

http://www.thetruthisntsexy.ca/index.php

Kelowna

2008-10-05T08:29:00.000-07:00

We cooked Pasta with a cup and a half worth of 18% creamers. We didnt have milk.

Sally fell in love with a big stuffed moose.

a couple pictures

2008-10-01T22:28:00.000-07:00

Just some pictures of life. One is of Me and Carlye dressing up, haha...another is in the war room, and just a random.

War College

2008-09-24T13:22:00.000-07:00

So...I've been here for 2 and a half weeks, this is my second week of classes. Its been really good. I went through a time of homesickness which was...horrible haha but its getting better. Sometimes, it gets depressing down here, seeing all the pain and addiction, but at other times its so amazing cause you get into conversations with the people who are in pain and addicted, and hear their stories...some people have amazing stories! I have so many stories, but a lot are stories that aren't really bloggable cause you cant get the full aspect of what they're like without seeing expression. And for those who are worried, haha...thanks for the concern! I'd like to say though, people down here know that we're with 614, and its well respected, so if anyone sees us in a potentially dangerous situation, they'll step in and help. And they're very protective also because they see that we're clean, and dont want to see us getting into anything that they're into. I think they look at us and it gives them hope that they can come clean as well. Its really cool.

Keep the prayers coming for sure!!

48 hours of homelessness

2008-09-13T12:28:00.000-07:00

I spent all of wednesday, all of thursday and part of friday homeless. It was a powerful experience. The feelings that I felt were loneliness. Even though I was with 6 other people...and God...I just didnt feel right. I also got scared, I got a feeling of uneasiness. It was an amazing experience but I can honestly say that I never want to be homeless legitamitely. The feeling of not knowing where your sleeping is safe and all the emotions that built up over the 48 hours, I wouldnt want to do it. Im so thankful to God for a roof over my head, for a bed with warmth, pillows and everything else.

East Van

2008-09-10T15:38:00.000-07:00

Well...I live on the downtown east side of Vancouver now. Its pretty awesome. Classes are great, students and teachers are awesome...and the best part of it all is the community. Actually...I love it. Its really cool. They're such a tight knit community and Im a part of it now. I've met a few neighbors and stuff, not as many as I'd like yet but I've only been here for 4 days. Its pretty awesome though.

Ok

2008-08-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

K...I have 10 minutes to do this.

Camp this summer was Amazing. At first I wasn't sure if I liked it...I was a little uneasy...but especially looking back...it was amazing. Theres so much to say...but I dont know where to start. Amazing campers, amazing staff...JUST amazing. Honestly...I really dont know what else to say.

Camp 2008

2008-08-09T09:46:00.000-07:00

Camp has been quite an experience this year. For those who don't know, they've decided to merge two camp staffs this year. So Beaver creek camp, and Pine Lake camp staffs are one staff running both camps. There are 2 kitchen and maintenance staffs, one for each camp, but the rest is all one staff. So the first week of the summer, half of the staff was at Beaver creek in Sask. for teen camp, and the other half was at Pine Lake for moms and tots. Then we all came together for Holiday 1, 2, 3 and teen camp at Pine Lake. Holiday camp one was a good camp, everyone was still trying to figure out the program, and get to know the staff they didn't already know too well, holiday camp 2 was a gongshow, as usual. It was that week that I almost quit, as well as a few other people. But we stuck it out, Holiday 3 was alright...the worst that really happened was lack of sleep....but its camp, of course thats gonna happen. And then teen camp....OH teen camp. I loved it. I just wish we had more time to minister to the campers. Teen camp only ran monday - thursday because we had to pack up and move on friday. I felt like the campers didn't get the time they deserved. But it was amazing nonetheless. The staff had fun, therefore the campers had fun. I like teen camp, because you get to hang out....and you don't get the stupid fights like "she called me a name". The campers are really good. Teen camp, for me, was by far the best so far. And now we're in saskatchewan. We have been here for a week, so we've done adventure camp 1 already, it was alright. I made a mistake and ate gluten last weekend, and then on monday....so I was sick and tired all week...but it was ok. Now, coming up is Adventure 2, then 3, then we're done. I can't believe its almost over. I can't believe I'm going to be living in Vancouver in less than a month! I'm so excited for it.

Anyways, I should get going.
Courtney AKA - Buttercup...or Bcup

Saying good-bye is hard

2008-06-29T17:08:00.000-07:00

Saying Good-bye to someone is one of the hardest things a person goes through, if not THE hardest thing. Whether its saying good-bye to someone who has passed away, or whos moving away...or if your moving away and you have to say good-bye to everyone around you.

I have been working through 2 of those good-byes. My grandfather died...which has been really hard. He died on May 16. I was doing alright with it for a bit...after the funeral and everything...I was fine, I went to yc and danced and had fun and it was all fine...and then I had my grad...and I looked up to my family...and he wasn't there and it was so hard. He was always there for milestones in our lives...he was always there no matter what. And never complained about it. And I started recovering, again...or at least I thought I did. Then last week...we had a grief lesson at sunday school and that just brought out more emotions...and this last week...my emotions have been rolling. Because of that...and because Im leaving soon. Im so excited to go to Vancouver and Im going out of my mind here...because I know something bigger and better is coming up. And friday, we had a bonfire with some people from school...and saying good-bye to them was incredibly hard. And then today, they did kind of the "final good-bye" at church...and it wasn't too hard for me...but then I looked around and there were people crying...and then there was my mom who was like...weeping...haha.

I dont want to say good-bye...but Im so excited to leave. Everyones like "I dont want you to go" "i cant believe your leaving" and its like...i feel like I shouldn't be as happy or excited as I am. Everyone around me is so bumed that Im leaving and everytime I talk about it...I just want to jump in the air and dance...I know it sounds corney, haha...but its the truth. Im excited beyond belief.

Anyways...thats all Im gonna say for today

2 Corinthians 5:13

2008-06-06T14:16:00.000-07:00

I was sitting at the computer listening to Leeland and all of the sudden these words came into my head. The inspiration behind them actually came from 2 Corinthians 5:13

- If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you

So I take this as...be insane for Jesus...dont hold back. Do whatever you can to please God! If God wants you to buy a homeless person lunch, do it. If God wants you to raise your hands in church, even if no one at church does it...do it anyways. Give God all the Glory, Honor, and Praise that he deserves...no matter where you are in your life!

Are you quiet? Are you shy?
Are you always passing by?
What the lord has said to you
What the lord has done too

Are you Happy? Are you stoked?
With what the lord has provoked?
What else has he said to you?
What else can he do?

Be insane in the name of Jesus
So he can see us
Go Crazy, make it big, and make it loud
So he can hear us

Grad '08!!!

2008-06-04T20:03:00.000-07:00

So I graduated yesterday. So stoked for it!!! It all kinda went by in a blurr though.

AND!! I shaved my head today!!

PS! Jesus is truly amazing. People are hung over today and Im tired with a headache, lol...but Jesus honestly gave me the strength to not drink.

Im to tired to say much...so I'll leave you with pics and a video.

My prayer

2008-05-29T22:06:00.001-07:00

I dont care whats happening in my life...I need Christ, and I need him to take me under his wing!

Can you hear me? Does anyone around me
Feel the way that I feel now?
Cause from the window where I sometimes cry
I just want to see Your face tonight
And I'm willing to lose everything I am

Cause I need you more than ever
I need Your help to find where I've been going wrong so far

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in Your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You're not alone.

When You're near me, I feel like I just found me
In the traces of the boy from yesterday
But in a world that is so black and white
I will take the steps to change my life
And I won't be coming back to here again

I need Your loving hand to guide me
Through the maze of all the things inside me
Then I'll know that I'm alright

Cause I need You more than ever
I need Your help to find where I've been going wrong so far

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in Your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You're not alone
Please help me get from worse to better
Before these tears soak through this lonely sweater
And let me know that I'm alright
I still have one strike of this match left
And I'm holding on to my last breath
And its getting a little dark around to see here

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You're not alone

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in your eyes
Hold on it will be alright
You're not alone

And You'll be here forever, forever You'll stay
And You promised to love me, You'll love me always
You'll love me for always, You'll love me for always
Always

So the video isn't actually a video....its just a picture, but its a good song to just listen to.

My king!

2008-05-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

I may have posted this before, I probably have, but its so powerful.

And the "rock" version

YC 2008 - Passion

2008-05-26T10:24:00.000-07:00

CARPE DIEM - SEIZE THE DAY

That is one thing we heard all weekend. And I swear, there must have been a TWC representative there cause they kept talking about being more than conquerors lol.

YC 2008 - Passion was this weekend. 17 000 young people worshiping God together. It was amazing. The power of the holy spirit was so consuming! All weekend there were tears, and there was laughter.

RIP Grandpa

2008-05-21T12:29:00.001-07:00

I can be a nightmare of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
and you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known
And you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I'm the funniest woman you've ever known.
I am the dullest woman you've ever known.
I'm the most gorgeous woman you've ever known
And you've never met anyone as, as everything as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

And you’re still here
And you're still here...

Grandpa, You've seen every part of me, and you never left me. You're gone in spirit but I will always have you close to me.

I love you!

I dont care where you are

2008-05-14T14:46:00.001-07:00

I'll always be there for you...wherever the lord may place you!!!

listen baby ain´t no mountain high ,ain´t no valley low,
ain´t no river wide enough baby

If you need me call me
no matter where you are,
no matter how far (don't worry baby)
just call out my name.
I'll be there in a hurry
you don't need to worry

chorus:
'Cause baby there
Ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you babe

Remember the day
I set you free
I told you you could always count on me,darling
From that day on
I made a vow
I'll be there when you want me
some way,somehow

Chorus

No wind,
No rain,

Or winter's cold.
Can stop me baby.
ooooh baby
Cause you are my goal
If you're ever in trouble
I'll be there on the double
just send for me
oooh baby
send for me oooh baby

My love is alive
Deep down in my heart
Although we are miles apart

If you ever need a helping hand
I'll be there on the double
just as fast as I can

You know that ;
they're ain't no mountain high enough,
ain't no valley low enough,
ain't no river wide enough,
to keep me from getting to you babe

Peaceful, calming, Crazy, Busy

2008-05-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking about how crazy my life is right now....and how much crazier its gonna get in the next month. It makes me think of December, when I went to "The cabin" which was actually my brothers fiance's family's cabin. Im sitting here thinking about how relaxed I was....with the mountains and the creek and...the hot tub. I dont know, theres just something about being in the mountains that relaxes me. Which is probably good considering Im moving to Vancouver. I dont know, I just thinking about it. I miss being stress-free.

Thinking...(oh dear)

2008-05-09T08:27:00.000-07:00

So Im sitting in my english class....not doing anything except facebooking...and blogging, obviously.

Right now...I feel disconnected from everything. I really feel like moving on. I want June 29th to get here so I can finally do that. Its a feeling that is very unsettling. I went and saw a movie based out of Chicago yesterday...and it made me think of how happy I was when I was in Chicago, and then when I was in BC afterwards. Maybe because I wasn't in school then, haha but I dont know.

And right now....the crossover of food (gluten food to gluten free food) has been making me sick...which is brutal...and apparently its gonna last like....2 months...so annoying.

Anyways...thats my life right now...well...part of it.

And again, the dog wouldnt eat it!

2008-05-06T16:25:00.000-07:00

So...I found out on friday that I do in fact have celiac disease...so I've been trying out different gluten-free foods...most of them arent too bad, but I had a granola bar sunday morning that I think is only good for one thing...emptying your stomach....it was gross...my dog wouldnt eat it, and my dog eats everything. And then today, I had a instant meal...penne....and I took it out of the microwave and some spilled on the ground, the dog came over...licked some up...SPAT IT OUT! and walked out of the room! That shows how good it was... :S

By request

2008-04-24T17:12:00.000-07:00

So....I have a request from Sarah to tell everyone how "well" I came out of the anasthetic from my biposy today...so here it goes..

I thought I was in my leadership class, so I tried sitting up and the nurse told me to lay back down....and I was like "SHUT UP ALLIE I DONT WANNA LAY DOWN!"

Then i asked how sundaes went (cause we had a sundae fundraiser at school at lunch that I was in charge of)...Obviously...the nurse didnt know and I got mad, lol.

Then they asked if I wanted ANOTHER popcycle....I do not remember eating a first popcycle...kinda scary.

So...apparently this will make you laugh

Galations 1:6-8

2008-04-22T13:32:00.000-07:00

So...I've taken these 3 verses....and written my interpretation of the verse in my own words in bold...tell me what you think!!!

6I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel

I’m shocked that you could turn your back on the Lord, and that you’re turning to a completely different belief system!

7which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ.

That new thing you believe in…it’s a load of crap! Obviously you’re being tricked and thrown into something that has somehow been twisted into sounding like the Lord, and you are being converted by a twisted gospel.

8But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned!

Any Believer of the Lord who has preached something other than what his word says…he will have eternal Damnation.

Galations 1:3-5

2008-04-21T13:34:00.000-07:00

3 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ
4 who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father
5 to whom be glory for ever and ever.

Amen.

I started reading through Galations, but Im not going to read a chapter at a time like I usually do, I'm simply going to read a few verses at a time, so I can really meditate on what it says and take it for what each verse says, as opposed to what each chapter says, so I can really break it down and hear all the words of the LORD. I read Galations 1:3-5 yesterday, and it basically talks about how God had planned all along to have Jesus die for our sins, so that we wouldn't need to be enslaved to this sinful earth. But, yes he rescued us from the slavery of this sinful earth, however he didn't take us away from it. We're still here, we're not living in a bubble. We have to make an effort to keep ourselves from the captivity. God isn't going to keep us from sin, he gave us free will. Its up to us to make that effort...we have to be willing to ask God for help. God saved us but we have to want the saving.

SOMEONE STOLE MY IDEA

2008-04-20T16:50:00.000-07:00

So a few years ago we came up with WWJD smackdown on the way to youth councils...and never got around to making it...haha. I was gonna do it at camp or something (I still might) but I was on the internet and found this...I laughed super hard!!

Im sorry

2008-04-17T07:12:00.000-07:00

Im sorry this happened to you
Im sorry for your pain
Im sorry you have to be alone through this
Im sorry theres no one there
Im sorry I cant help

I wish I could be there
I wish i could show you that I care about you
I wish I could show you that not everyone in the world is like that
I wish This didnt happen to you
I wish I could take the pain away

I just want you to remember I love you, and Im always here for you.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Titus 1:15-16

2008-04-14T07:22:00.000-07:00

15 To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted.
16 They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.

If you watch carefully, there are so many corrupted Christians, who say they're Christians, then go and get so drunk that they cant remember anything the next day, or who are constantly dropping F-bombs or who are dealing drugs. We're human, yes, but is that being an example for the lord? It says "but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted" Does that mean that anything they do before they believe in the lord is wrong? No matter what it is?

I want to urge everyone to take a deep look at their hearts...and examine your relationship the the lord (or if you even have one anymore).

Mr. President

2008-04-12T20:51:00.000-07:00

So...I went to my sister-in-laws dance show today, and they danced to this song, and it really stuck out to me.

I will go

2008-04-11T08:45:00.000-07:00

So....I've been listening to the new starfield CD non-stop for like..3 weeks, and its amazing, i highly recomend it! Anyways, I was thinking about moving to Vancouver, and the song "I will go" came on...and its almost like it was written for me. I've been wanting to help people in this way for 16 years! And yeah...so here are the lyrics.

To the desperate eyes and reaching hands
To the suffering and the lean
To the ones the world has cast aside
Where you want me I will be

I will go
I will go
I will go Lord send me
To the world
To the lost
To the poor and hungry
Take everything I am
Clay within your hands
I will go
I will go
Send me

Let me not be blind with privilege
Give me eyes to seek the pain
Let the blessing You've poured out on me
Not be spent on me in vain
Let this life be used for change

I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you

I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you

I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you

Send me! (4x)

2008-04-09T21:14:00.001-07:00

Come Lord Jesus Come

Enough Said

Articles of War

2008-04-08T17:03:00.000-07:00

So...I've been challenged by a lot of stuff lately...The Articles of war is one of the things I've been challenged by. Its not that I disagree with it...but its just been in my face a lot lately (not just cause its the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning)

Having accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour and Lord, and desiring to fulfil my membership of His Church on earth as a soldier of The Salvation Army, I now by God's grace enter into a sacred covenant.

I believe and will live by the truths of the word of God expressed in The Salvation Army's eleven articles of faith:

We believe that the Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments were given by inspiration of God; and that they only constitute the Divine rule of Christian faith and practice.

We believe that there is only one God, who is infinitely perfect, the Creator, Preserver, and Governor of all things, and who is the only proper object of religious worship.

We believe that there are three persons in the Godhead - the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost - undivided in essence and co-equal in power and glory.

We believe that in the person of Jesus Christ the Divine and human natures are united, so that He is truly and properly God and truly and properly man.

We believe that our first parents were created in a state of innocency, but by their disobedience they lost their purity and happiness; and that in consequence of their fall all men have become sinners, totally depraved, and as such are justly exposed to the wrath of God.

We believe that the Lord Jesus Christ has, by His suffering and death, made an atonement for the whole world so that whosoever will may be saved.

We believe that repentance towards God, faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and regeneration by the Holy Spirit are necessary to salvation.

We believe that we are justified by grace, through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ; and that he that believeth hath the witness in himself.

We believe that continuance in a state of salvation depends upon continued obedient faith in Christ.

We believe that it is the privilege of all believers to be wholly sanctified, and that their whole spirit and soul and body may be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

We believe in the immortality of the soul; in the resurrection of the body; in the general judgment at the end of the world; in the eternal happiness of the righteous; and in the endless punishment of the wicked.

I will be responsive to the Holy Spirit's work and obedient to His leading in my life, growing in grace through worship, prayer, service and the reading of the Bible. I will make the values of the Kingdom of God and not the values of the world the standard for my life.

I will uphold Christian integrity in every area of my life, allowing nothing in thought, word or deed that is unworthy, unclean, untrue, profane, dishonest or immoral.

I will maintain Christian ideals in all my relationships with others; my family and neighbours, my colleagues and fellow salvationists, those to whom and for whom I am responsible, and the wider community.

I will uphold the sanctity of marriage and of family life. I will be a faithful steward of my time and gifts, my money and possessions, my body, my mind and my spirit, knowing that I am accountable to God.

I will abstain from alcoholic drink, tobacco, the non-medical use of addictive drugs, gambling, pornography, the occult and all else that could enslave the body or spirit.

I will be faithful to the purposes for which God raised up The Salvation Army, sharing the good news of Jesus Christ, endeavouring to win others to Him, and in His name caring for the needy and the disadvantaged.

I will be actively involved, as I am able, in the life, work, worship and witness of the corps, giving as large a proportion of my income as possible to support its ministries and the worldwide work of the Army.

I will be true to the principles and practices of The Salvation Army, loyal to its leaders, and I will show the spirit of salvationism whether in times of popularity or persecution.

I now call upon all present to witness that I enter into this covenant and sign these articles of war of my own free will, convinced that the love of Christ, who died and now lives to save me, requires from me this devotion of my life to His service for the salvation of the whole world; and therefore do here declare my full determination, by God's help, to be a true soldier of The Salvation Army.

Dont get all up in my grill, cause im a Jesus girl

2008-04-03T07:56:00.000-07:00

So yesterday, in my leadership class....I had a near confrontation. We were doing this thing about superheroes...and we had to write 8 fictional superheroes, 8 people that were heroes in their time, but have....passed on from this life....and 8 people who are heroes right now...I put Jesus down...cause you know...Jesus is the greatest superhero of ALL TIME. And someone was like "Jesus was just a man, he didn't do anything heroic, everything people believe about him is a lie" and I got so angry. You know that feeling when you get really mad, and you can feel all the blood rising to your face and your about ready to bust a cap? Yeah...that was me...you do not talk about my daddy like that.

God is with you

2008-03-30T22:57:00.000-07:00

I came to the realization this weekend...you dont need to be in a church service, or a christian conference or anything like that for God to speak to you, and to grow in your spirituality in an insane way. I've been in Vancouver/abbotsford since friday morning, just hanging out...but I have grown. I've been growing like...non stop since december, but this weekend has been...AGH...so awesome. I spent friday and part of saturday with Paige (Honeycomb!!) and we just hung out...and pulled out the guitar for old times sake...and it was so random and so amazing. Then yesterday...I spend time on the downtown east side of Vancouver with some of the war college students and it was amazing. I dont know how to describe it. Its all been like...a reassurance of my calling from God. I've been trying to teach myself exactly what it means to praise God in every word you speak, every breath you breathe and every step you take...and its really starting to come alive. My crazy growth has been amazing...and I know there will be a lot more to come...and im so stoked for that.

Change

2008-03-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

So I was driving along...and Im listening to Sean Kingston...singing along..."Yeah all these beautiful girls" you know...just chillin. Then this song came on, its called change...and I was totally speachless...I've been listening to this song over and over again trying to figure it out. Well...here are the lyrics....tell me what you think.

And ask yourself the question...can God work through this song? Even if its a secular artist?

Change – Sean Kingston

[Chorus:]
Oh I wish I had the power, the power to change the world
But I'm just one man trying to do it on my own
Oh I wish I had the power, the power to change the world
But I'm just one man trying to do it on my own
Can someone help me (change the world)?
Can somebody help me (change the world)?

Everyday I see the youth, they're chilling on the corners
Hustling crack and marijuana
Because they don't have no guidance
Nobody just be guiding, no

Hope to see black people living longer
Also less kids without fathers
We should all come together
Please stop fighting and killing each other

[Pre-chorus:]
It's what happens when you're living in the street life
It's so dark and you don't get sunlight
People're seeing why you don't get treated right
But I'm gonna try to change it

[Chorus]

Many people're living off welfare
Hoping things get better next year
But I'm covered in tears
So many sick without health care

Too many innocent people dyin'
And I don't know why
You gotta keep your eyes open even when you're rollin'
As days go by

[Bridge:]
Somebody, change the world
We've got little boys and little girls
Growing up on this sinful earth
Oh what's happening?
I don't know, but please tell me
We've got all these criminals and discretes
Killing people for no reason
I don't know why

Im gonna fight

2008-03-07T09:01:00.000-08:00

Alright....so in case I didn't explain the last few posts well...Im going to the war college in Vancouver, I start in september. Basically....its the beginning of my fight for God. I'll be working on the downtown eastside of Vancouver trying to win the people over for the kingdom of Christ. Its my battle field, its been my mission since I was 14.

Heres one more video on I'll fight.

I'll fight

2008-02-27T10:22:00.000-08:00

While women weep, as they do now
I'll fight

While little children go hungry, as they do now
I'll fight

While men go to prison, in and out, in and out as they do now
I'll fight

While there is a drunkard left
while there is a poor lost girl upon the streets
Where there remains one dark soul without the light of God,
I'll fight - I'll fight to the very end

The moment I've been waiting for, for 4 years

2008-02-14T08:34:00.000-08:00

"Dear Courtney McLeod,
Greetings in Jesus' name! We pray that God is strengthening you by his mighty Spirit living in all who believe!
Congratulations on being accepted into The Salvation Army’s private institution, The War College. We don't accept just anyone to attend. Based on prayer, your application, and your references, we are pleased to invite you into the 2008-2009 session of The War College - Conquerors! Your acceptance is for the one year of post-secondary spiritual discipleship and mission studies. Be assured that we have prayed and carefully weighed our decision and are looking forward to fighting alongside you and growing in faith with you!"

Thats my king

2008-01-28T21:03:00.000-08:00

They showed this video at yc last year, so true!!

In my prayers

2008-01-21T11:17:00.000-08:00

So, when I was in Ontario this summer, we were visiting a lot of family, it was amazing, I got to meet a lot of people that I've either never met, or haven't seen since I was 4, so it was really cool. We were in london and we were visiting my moms aunt and uncle (who, by the way are like...in their mid-70's), and their son and his wife came over and we had a grand 'ole time. Then we're sitting there having tea and coffee, and I looked over by the stairs and see this little head peak up. And he left, and then a little girl came up the stairs, it was there foster kids. So I went down and played with them. The little boy had bald patches all over his head, so I was a little confused. They we're absolutely adorable children. They had a 6 month old baby, but my moms aunt and uncle were really of no age to have a baby that young in the house. The baby was taken right from the mom at birth.

I left their house in tears because I knew that I would never see them again. They are very special kids. The little boy wouldn't come near me for a while, then when his sister started playing with me, he started to warm up again. But then when I told them I had to leave soon his response was "when are you coming back?" and it broke my heart because I knew that I wasn't going back to see them. Those kids have had so many foster families, so many people who are only there to play with for a little while and then they leave and no one ever bothers with them again. I saw in his eyes when I told him that I didn't think I could come back that he was disapointed, for the billionth time.

When we left I found out that the bald spots on his head were there because, when he found out that he had to leave his previous foster home, he pulled out his hair, I guess it was a way to relieve anger. But it breaks my heart everytime I think about it. They are very special kids and I wish I could see them again. I think they will always hold a special place in my heart, even though I only knew them for a couple hours.

Hosanna

2008-01-15T20:09:00.001-08:00

Verse 1
I see the king of glory
Coming down the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing

Chorus
Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest

Verse 2
I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a new revival
Staring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees

Bridge
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what is yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

Hosanna

Look up, say your prayers

2008-01-05T19:51:00.001-08:00

Look at you now, just standing there like you think you’re something.
The lights are up and the crowd is looking your way.
Waiting for what you have to say.
Go ahead boy give them a little taste of hypocrisy, maybe a hint of blasphemy.
Whatever you’re preaching it isn’t me.
You wanna walk with me, do ya?
You wanna walk with me.
If you love me then just love me, don’t you give me pretty words.
Lay your life down at the altar.
Let me see how serious you are.
These people don’t look to me no more they’ve got their idols in various forms.
With lust in their eyes they crave for more.
Take their place with the corporate carnivores.
Oh, keep your focus for the day will come when everyone will give account for what they’ve done; make me proud.
Make me proud my son.
Look at this broken world; look at my children.
Get ready go; sing to me the right song.
Look up say your prayers on the steps of the capitol.
Look up say your prayers, on your knees.
Look up say your prayers.
Look up say your prayers.
You wanted it to be like you always thought it would but all you seem to accomplish is the
opposite.

~The wedding~

Happy Chanukkah

2007-12-04T16:06:00.000-08:00

K...so its the beginning of Chanukkah today...and Im not jewish, nor do I celebrate Chanukkah...but one of my best friends is Jewish, and I think its still important to recognize it. I bought her a Channukah gift and gave it to her today, and I dont know, to see her face light up the way it did...it made me so happy. Obviously, these next 8 days mean a lot to Jews, and I think we do need to take time to recognize it.

Holding nothing back

2007-11-28T15:08:00.000-08:00

I am chosen I am free, I am living for eternity, Free now forever
You pick me up, turn me around
You set my feet on solid ground, Yours now forever

Nothing’s gonna hold me back
Nothing’s gonna hold me back
Nothing’s gonna hold me back

My chains fell off my heart was free
I’m alive to live for You
I’m alive to live for You
Amazing love how can it be?
You gave everything for me
You gave everything for me
Everything

You’ve washed my sin and shame away, the slate is clean a brand new day
Free now forever
Now boldly I approach Your throne, to claim this crown through Christ my own
Yours now forever

Free to live
Free to give
Free to be
I’m free to love You [Last time only – Lord]

Heck yes!

2007-11-23T07:39:00.000-08:00

So...I got this package yesterday...and in it...there was...my grad ring! Woot woot!!

Oh my goodness

2007-11-20T06:42:00.000-08:00

So Im doing a project on alcoholism for school...and I found this video...and Im like...balling! If theres anything I hate most about Alcoholism it's the affect it has on kids.